Dating : How I Get Women To Go Out With Me

Advice from a true ladies man

I am often asked how I get so many women to go out with me. And usually, the people asking are guys who are in shock. They aren’t asking me because I am a tall, good looking rich guy with a perfect smile and a lush head full of hair. They are asking me, out of disbelief and annoyance.

These guys who spend 30 minutes a day sculpting their hair, hours at the gym and hundreds of dollars on protein shakes and brand name clothing are all confused when they go head to head with me when talking to girls and I always get the number and a date.

Despite driving a nice car, sporting an expensive watch, and passing out business cards that say they are consultants, vice this or executive that, they have to admit defeat to a guy a head shorter than them who is wearing jeans, a t-shirt that says “Harvard Law” with a small postscript that says “just kidding” and who came to the party on his bike (bicycle not motorbike).

Sometimes they come up to me and ask “What’s your secret dude? How’d you get that chick to even talk to you?”

The answer is quite simple. Are you ready?

I don’t give a shit.

Now before you think I mean I don’t give a shit about women or what they want, that’s not what I mean. I am very sensitive to the needs of my partner both mentally and physically.

I usually go out of my way to ensure when I am dating someone that they feel comfortable and happy with me and that we share intimate moments sexually and emotionally.

When I say I don’t give a shit, what I mean is I don’t care either way if a person is interested in me or not. Whether they are single or not. Whether they would consider dating me or not. None of that concerns me.

I think many people have trouble dating or finding potential dates because of three things they are thinking:

Many men, before approaching a girl will first think about how they look to the girl. They will check out the girl they are interested in and start to imagine what kind of man that woman would be open to being approached by.

Will she talk to me if I show off my new smartphone? Should I mention casually in conversation I just bought a condo? If I approach her and offer to buy her a drink will she think that is kind or kind of cliche?

All these questions about what she will think about you are a waste of time. They can’t be confirmed until you approach her anyway. And all these questions really do, is make you second guess and either back out and not approach the girl, or enter into a conversation trying to play a part you created in your head.

I on the other hand have a rule. If I like a girl, think she is attractive, or have any sense that I want to talk to her, I stand up and just go. I don’t plan an opener or decide what part of me I should present for her to like me.

Why? Because I don’t give a shit! To me, she is a stranger. If I go up to her and say hello and she blows me off, that’s one less person I need to worry about getting a Christmas gift.

My aim is to start a conversation and see if it goes smoothly and naturally without me having to upsell myself. If she enjoys our conversation and I do as well, then I go to step 2, which is to ask for a date and her contact information.

Another thing I do is not to overstay my welcome. I talk until the conversation starts winding down, get her information, and leave her alone. If she wants to continue the conversation or is interested in me, she will probably let me know. Either by coming back and talking to me later on or by continuing our conversation online or on our date.

The second thought that goes through most guy’s heads when they are interested in a girl is what type of girl is she. Is she a strong independent girl who doesn’t want to be bothered by men? Is she married or dating someone already? Is she a lesbian? Do her clothes and style mean she is high maintenance or from a rich background?

All these questions once again are assumptions based on physical appearance and can’t be proven until you actually make contact and get to know her. Just like guys who dress and act a certain way when they go out, women also put on a persona based on what they think guys want or what people expect them to look like.

The only way you will truly know what a woman wants, thinks and feels, is by talking to her and asking her.

Rather than psyching yourself out and assuming a girl is too good looking or too rich or out of your league, you should assume that she is just like every other person you know. She has friends, family, job, hobbies, and bad habits.

The excuses that men give themselves for why they shouldn’t approach women are ridiculous. If a girl is good looking, why does that matter? Do her good looks mean she only dates good looking men? If she is rich, she only dates rich men? If she is Russian, she only dates Russian men?

That might be the case with some women, but overall in my encounters with women, I have talked to a wide variety of women in terms of age, income, race, career, etc. and have been able to date a wide variety. It has been very rare that a girl rejected me because I didn’t have the same things as her.

Maybe some girls look for rich guys or tall guys or built guys, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they share those common traits. So what she looks or does for a living, doesn’t make a difference when first approaching her. You won’t know her “type” until you talk to her and find out.

And guess what, maybe you will be her type, maybe you won’t. Only one way to find out. Also, speaking of type, many girls who I dated told me they were surprised to date me because I am not their type. So type, to me, makes no difference.

This is probably the number one reason many guys don’t ask out girls. They are scared of how they will react. Not just the rejection, but the reaction from a woman when she gets asked out.

You will find a running theme in this article when talking about these types of thoughts and questions. Yes, you got it; I don’t give a shit.

I think many people overdramatize their life and their interactions with people. You are not the lead role in a Netflix rom-com. This isn’t Mean Girls or a Hugh Grant movie.

When talking to a woman, there isn’t an audience about to burst out in laughter or feel the cringe.

Most likely, if you walk up to a woman at a bar, party, or wherever you are, they are not going to throw their drink at you, scream “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK” or laugh uncontrollably. And if they do, they are crazy and you dodged a bullet.

On the other hand, they aren’t going to suddenly fall head over feet with you and suddenly start making out with you either. If they do, another red flag.

Most likely, when you talk to a person you don’t know, it will be awkward for a few seconds when the conversation is very dry or the person is still trying to figure out why you came over to talk to them.

But once you get past that initial awkwardness, you will either have a decent conversation where both parties enjoyed it or you will realize there is nothing in common and politely you will part ways.

If you flip the table and imagine a woman you don’t know come up to you, what would you do? Would you be angry, punch her in the face, and tell her to get lost? Or would you grab her breasts and try to french kiss her? If you said “yes” to either of those things, stop reading and get help.

Most guys if approached by a girl would be flattered and be polite. They would listen to what the lady has to say and continue the conversation. And I think women are the same. Some might brush you off quickly depending on location and how many times guys have come by, but most will at least give you a chance.

Now, for the reason you clicked on this article. You want to know what I do or say to get girls to go out with me. Well obviously if you have been paying attention, the first step is obvious. I don’t give a shit.

But beyond that, I always start a conversation thinking that this person is here because she wants to make friends or talk to people. If she didn’t want to be around people, she would be at home binge-watching Unsolved Mysteries and eating nachos.

Being out and around people automatically means she is open to talking to someone. And I go in thinking, I will be that person she can talk to. I have lots of fun and interesting experiences in my life and I also like talking about a variety of topics. So there is definitely something I can offer her.

I usually start conversations with a little shy but a kind introduction. Questions like, “Hello, how’s it going?”, “Are you enjoying the (location/event)?”, or something quirky or funny that would get a smile or chuckle like “Who serves spring rolls now? It’s winter.” Yes, it’s a dad joke but it worked.

I usually don’t start with compliments like you are pretty or you have nice hair or whatever. Maybe eventually in conversation if it comes up, but initially I talk to women as if I am trying to just make conversation and possibly make a friend. Which I am.

Asking girls out right away or coming on too strong really freaks them out and makes guys seem desperate and creepy. So instead, I usually have a good conversation and wait to see if I am the only one trying to keep the conversation going or if she is also reciprocating.

If it seems that she is enjoying our time together as much as I am, then I take it to the next level

I ask for a date. But I make it specific. I don’t just say let’s go out.

Depending on our conversation and what things we talked about, I pull a place that relates to that. So if we were talking about spring rolls, I mention a good Chinese restaurant I often go to that serves good food. Or if we’re talking about some hobby we both like, I invite her to join me. For example, when I was talking to a Japanese woman and I mentioned I love skating, she had never been skating. So I invited her out to a skating rink and we had lunch and a skating date.

She ended up being my girlfriend for 5 years.

I have met, talked to, gotten contact information, and then dated girls from so many places. At school, at work, at parties, clubs, bars, shops, festivals, amusement parks, weddings, museums, and even at a Halloween Parade.

And the women I have been with have been younger than me, older than me, richer than me, poorer than me, more educated, less educated, traditional, modern, independent, family-focused, introverted, or the life of the party.

The women are all different but the constant is I am the same. All these women gave me a chance and we had good times together. Of course, some lasted more than others and sometimes it didn’t end well but that’s how relationships work.

The main thing is until you can actually go on a date and begin that relationship, you can’t really find out how it will turn out.