Dating : How It’s All A Lizard Sex Brain(2)

They do the dance of will he have her, and shall she give in?

We did that dance for weeks, he’d try to approach me and I’d bat him away like an annoying fly. Derek was younger than me, with some extra perception that I was playing with him. He held my interest as soon as we came together to sit at the same table. The young man was the maybe early twenties while I was almost thirty.

He passed a note to me and I smiled at the arbitrary form of it. It reminded me of when we made little paper footballs and flicked them at each other in grade school.

I noticed you keep looking at me, the note read. There was a small grin as I wrote down the word no and shoved it back in his direction. The clock was ticking down and I could hear its noise as if it was directly in my ear.

Tick, tock, my libido told me. I wish I could wear blinders to try to keep him out of my peripheral vision. His scent of that sweet muskiness flooded back within my senses. It took everything within me not to lean a little more into his space.

The teacher called out we were finished and I leaped up into the air. That was enough torture of my self-control. I bounded into the hallway like a kid heading to recess. My senses had shut him out and I didn’t realize he had grabbed a hold of my arm until it was too late.

He reeled me in close to him, painfully close. Bumping into his chest my hands pressed the muscles. We were hiding in the corner as if we were in high school. His hard, unmoving body pressed into my soft and supple form. Our breath bounced off of each other and I didn’t know what I was doing or thinking.

“Autonomic system, peripheral, lizard brain bullshit,” I whispered. It was all of the science I had learned behind chemistry. How our brains cook up endorphins and how we lose control of our bodies. He laughed and leaned into me painfully closer. God, he looked even more handsome up close with looking at him straight on. I always tried to make sure I never looked in his eye in case he hypnotized me or something. He had the most breathtakingly deep, dark brown eyes.

“I especially enjoy when you rattle off in science jargon.”

“Science explains all, like right now I’m overdosing on a chemical cocktail produced by my central nervous system and…” my brain was starting to lose cohesion. The misfiring of my body’s chemical response with him being next to me was taking over. Science could not save me from this one.

He moved close enough for me to lean in without thinking. We kissed for the first time in the hallway and it was like electricity coursing through my deprived system. I hadn’t had sex in years, I had full control of myself all the time and every time. His fingers wrapped in my hair and I only wanted him to bury his mouth in my neck, trailing down to my collarbone, going down to all and every sacred spot I had.

He tasted like mint and deliciousness I can’t even describe. We stayed there for what felt like an eternity until I was aware of someone watching us. I pushed him away from me with a gasp and looked around. My paranoia of being caught was wrong and he looked at me with one of his wicked smiles.

“This means nothing, by the way,” I shot at him. I was angry at myself but most of all I was angry at my body for deceiving me. We had a good thing going and I couldn’t become invested in him.

“Really, so you moaning was nothing?”

“I didn’t moan, I sighed. From… misfiring neurons!” I couldn’t even science talk my way out of this.

“You know being smart is the best kind of sexy?” he asked.

There was something so irresistible about him and I could still taste him. My lips felt raw from our rabid kisses where we had spent the last moments or eternity in that dark corner. The fluorescent lights buzzed above and I bit my lip. The other students had cycled through without probing into where we had disappeared to. We were both breathing hard and he appeared as if he might pounce at any moment. There was a part of me that wanted to be the one who started moving toward him to close the distance. My heart raced like a hummingbird and I placed a hand on it.

My mind kept replaying the events, how he pulled me, the feel of his lips pressing against mine. The way his body felt so wonderful and unmoving like those cool, marble sculptures. That overpowering aroma of the deep woods and those eyes bore into me as if reading my thoughts. He licked his lips with his wicked grin growing. I’m sure he could still taste my strawberry lip gloss.

Derek looked at me like I was a captured prize of his. I was certain he wasn’t that far from the truth.