Dating : How To Not Be Confused by Women’s Responses as an Introvert Teenage Guy New To Dating

DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS

Right out of school sometimes dating can be confusing for guys, and we understand this.

As we grow up into adults, there’s this curiosity to enter dating life. For this many of us try to approach women in our teen ages and fail. Not being able to impress their crush, might leave some teenagers very confused and questioning their own goodness, for example.

It took me a long while to understand that often when interacting with women in the context of dating the first few times in our lives we forget to take into account a lot of obvious things.

Consider it like this.

All women are different.

Some trust men easily on the first day, some have trouble trusting men until several years pass by. The trust of a woman on you does not necessarily indicate that you are not trustworthy, it might be her own trust issues. Or for example childhood experiences of this particular person which can affect their ability to bond quickly. While on the other hand, you as a friendly person might be expecting an optimistic response in your innocence. This difference in expectations and the ease of building trust can often lead to confusion for those guys who’re approaching a girl with a very pure heart and still having no success. We all have our own experiences in life and this leads to some people trusting other people more and some trusting other people less. It does not say anything about you as a young man, but rather it is normal for women to take some time to trust a man who approaches them. Please be patient.

Women have varying choices.

Just like you wouldn’t go looking for dating just any woman but the one that you like the most. Similarly, women have that right too. They might or might not choose you. this does not indicate that there is a flaw in you. This just says that they have a choice to make and they chose another person they liked. It says nearly nothing about whether you’re good or not. You might be rejected by one woman and fully accepted by another woman. A woman may like a guy for being too confident and another woman may hate the same for being overconfident. Similarly, one girl may like men who’re tall another may like men who’re not so tall. So all this depends on personal likes and dislikes. It depends on what the woman is looking for in her partner and this might not always match what you’re offering. A mismatch does not necessarily mean that you, as a totally normal guy, are lacking something! No. It nearly never means that. You might be loved by someone and not loved by another. There’s this concept of varying choices and the criteria are not always the same for the selection of a mate. Infact, they might vary significantly. Often times in teenage years women might also be unclear about their own expectations from a man, so then it’s not really you who is doing something wrong but actually, she might just be figuring life out and not into dating at that particular time. Then you can’t just assume as an introvert that there’s something wrong with you or that you don’t deserve to be loved. Just wait for the right person to come into your life and embrace you for who you are!

Women are humans too.

Often because of society’s high expectations from women, they seem so composed, well dressed, and disciplined that eventually during teenages a boy may just forget that they have a humble human side too. A woman might be stressed at one time or another. This might be due to changes in a work routine, stresses related to growing up or something, or someone affecting their emotions, or just simple illness. The thing is, often when approaching a woman a teenage boy forgets that she might be under all sorts of stress and that the time for your approach might not be right. She might respond to you very differently in a context like a party where everyone is playful and very differently under a context which is not for dating.

Context is important to women.

Women feel safe in certain contexts and feel unsafe in another. This is mostly true for men as well. However, for young men exploring life, this fact can easily go ignored. As a teenage introvert guy, we often don’t realize the importance of approaching a woman to date in the right context. Think about it like this, if you’re trying to ask a woman out on a coffee when something really important is on her mind or she’s too busy in finishing a stressful project, chances are her response to you would be minimal or she might decide to reciprocate on a more suitable time.

As you grow up you must learn to accept that women are not just thinking about dating all the time. They have other things to do and are busy in their own jobs and lives. When the idea of you approaching them and asking them out approaches your brain, it might be that the timing or context is not right for the other person. This might bring you an undeserved rejection from the crush you so dreamed about.

We all have emotional needs too!

As a teenage introvert guy with raging hormones, it is often easy to forget that any person has emotional needs too. The internet is not very good when it comes to educating young people about this. It’s easy to forget that almost always a way to a person’s heart is through building a connection first. For young teens often it is easy to think why isn’t another person responding. However, they might be forgetting that they need to first exercise patience on their raging desire and connect with the other person on an individual level. Respect given is respect taken. By respecting an individual’s personal boundaries and giving them the space they need, you earn their respect in return. If you’re finding a quick solution to getting into someone’s life and gain any benefit from them, I’m sorry you’re not thinking this the right way. An introvert teenage boy must figure this out on his own and in the right ways to avoid getting hurt. It’s okay we realize you have raging desires, but wouldn’t you first like to understand and talk to the person whom you want to date? Wouldn’t you be a gentleman patient enough to realize that the other person may sometimes just be looking for emotional comfort and it might not be all about desire until later in the process when you have developed enough emotional connection? It is easy to be impatient. But patience comes with its rewards.

Analyze your own basics rationally rather than emotionally

As teens, it is easy to get hurt from a rejection. Thinking that you’re not good enough is easy. This can lead to depression, lots of stress, and negative thoughts. Some teenagers resort to self-harm or starving or just ignoring their studies for going to the gym for example. All these are measures that need through study and discussion with the grown-ups around you who are committed to seeing you excel.

As a teenager, it is never easy to take advice for you’re so confident in your own energy. However, it is often very fruitful to discuss your rejection with an elder and seek to understand what is really wrong in the way you’re approaching dating.

Little things matter. And yes, they can also easily be improved.

Often it is very little things that make all the difference in dating. Grooming yourself properly, wearing clean new shoes, walking with straight shoulders, sitting without a hunch back, and going to the gym regularly. All these things bring out great results in your favor.

Our parents love our innocence. They know how cruel the world is. They want to preserve our innocence and dress us up and comb our hair as their beloved babies. Such simple styling protects us in a good way for a long long time and lets us focus on studies without distraction until we’re grownups.

As grownups, we have to reconsider our own grooming habits, styling, dressing sense, and be more choosy in our shopping. Women notice little things. And you want to be prepared for that when the time comes.

Teenagers who are toppers in their academic background and have always ever focused on good grades can often miss out on such styling habits because it’s just a different focus for the first 15–20 years of life. And when we talk about introverts this effect is even more pronounced.

An introvert teenage boy must make small changes that lead to great results. You know there’s this 80/20 rule which says its almost always the case that only 20% of our efforts are the most productive!

It is simple, women usually love men who take care of themselves. A well-groomed man indicates discipline, care, confidence, and brings appeal in return.

Learning the use of a trimmer to trim your beard, or going to a dermatologist to get rid of your acne might be hard during your tough studies at the university. But these things if you pay attention to them, will bring you very optimistic results in your dating efforts.

A teenage boy must not be hurt from rejection but rather understand that the reasons could vary and it is not always about their own shortcomings but of the situation and preferences of the other person too.

As an introvert guy, focus on ways of optimizing your entry to a dating life by working on the aspects where improvement is needed. Similarly, if all of the basics like keeping clean, staying humble, not being cocky, good posture, etc. are already covered and still the women you approach are rejecting you, it does not imply at all that it is something you’re lacking. Rather it might just be that the other person likes someone else? Or that the other person might not just be in the right stage of life.

Maybe they’re not even looking to date at the moment and are looking to achieve a high GPA score? Does someone’s commitment to their academics mean that something is wrong with you as an introvert? No. It could be one of the several reasons I’ve tried to discuss here and there’s more. Take help from an elder if you get hurt. Your big problems might be small for them. It might also be that the person you are so focused on, are busy handling one very difficult aspect of their life. And that it never even crossed your mind that they’re busy handling a stressful situation, while you optimistically approach them for asking them out and start analyzing why they are not responding in the way you expected them to.

Setting the right expectations is important.

A girl is not a magic pill who’ll come and solve all the problems in your life. The first step in getting her interested in you is to reflect and understand what is the bottleneck and set achievable benchmarks to find the right optimizations in time, shape, context, and patience needed to gain the other person’s attention in a genuinely caring way. Girls have this basic sense of knowing who is sincere and who is looking for short term benefits. And like they say, there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.