Dating : “How was your weekend?” and other sure-fire ways to kill the conversation on dating apps

I won’t claim to be an expert on online-dating, but I do have enough years of personal experience and testimonials from friends of all genders to tell you the easiest way to lose someone’s interest in a conversation is to ask them one of the following three questions:

This is by far the worst question you can ask someone you barely know because you probably won’t learn anything new from their answer. They will most likely say “good, hbu” and then your conversation is dead in the water. A better question could be “What was the highlight of your weekend?” This requires an answer that will prompt a conversation and also give you a little glimpse into what the person cares about.

If I took the time to answer the questions they easily lay out for you on dating apps then you best believe I will be annoyed when you blatantly ignore what I wrote and take the time out to ask me things like “What do you do for work?” or “Where did you go to college?”. What was the point of matching with someone if you don’t at least skim through their whole profile? So, you saw my first photo and said to yourself “she’s attractive, that’s enough for me.” What if I’m everything you hate in a person and you can save yourself the trouble of having an interaction with me by simply spending 10 more seconds skimming through the rest of my page? A better question would be anything that expands on what you saw in the person’s profile. People love feeling like you really see or hear them. Remember a time when someone referenced something you previously said and how that made you feel? That is exactly what it’s like to receive one of these questions. If she’s a teacher, ask her when she knew she wanted to be one. If he works in a bar, ask him if he has any funny stories about customers. One time, a bartender told me he was on a cigarette break and saw a person walking in front of the bar with a raccoon draped over his shoulder. If I had asked, “so what do you do for work?” I would have never gotten to hear that story. Bless yourself with funny moments by putting in a touch more effort.

No one actually wants to talk about this anymore. We’re all sick of being inside and doing the same 3 things. This is the new elevator conversation with that coworker you barely know. No one wants to have it — we all would rather have a distraction (a reason why most people are on a dating app). Why won’t my phone buzz at this very moment with a funny meme from one of my internet friends so I don’t have to awkwardly experience this exchange? Ask me what tv show I recently binge-watched, ask me about my parent’s dog, ask me if I think they should make another Spiderman movie. Do not ask me this question.

Do yourself a favor and actively commit (I know, a scary word for some of you) to having good, constructive conversations with people. Otherwise, perhaps you should get off dating apps all-together and go re-watch tiger king for the 3rd time. At least then, you can exert as little effort as possible for some slightly cringe-worthy entertainment.