Dating : I Can’t Understand The Reasons

A poem from a husband to a wife about his midlife crisis

I can’t understand the reasons
why I’m lying here in bed brushing
away your hair in vague rememberance
of our days of youth, lively, sweet,
and filled with your contentment.

I can’t understand the reasons
why I’m angry with the universe,
kicking, screaming for some answers
that will never be enough while
you downed another glass of wine.

I can’t understand the reasons why
I’m hurting you when the last person
I want to hurt is you.

I can’t understand the reasons that
you haven’t left when I couldn’t look
you in the eyes;
You stuck with me through the kids,
the chaos, and my inability to reproduce
happiness in abundance.

When all I want to say to you is “I’m sorry”,
I won’t do that.

I’ll do better by giving you
a piece of me, even if that piece is not what
either of us expected.

I will give you the honest, the cold, the hard,
and the mixed-emotional self that resonates truth
in both you and I.

Let’s lean into our hustle, bustle,
and our confusion.

I am simply yours
whether you want me or not.

We’ll dive into the next fifty years
as we did the past fifty.

United, for better or worse.