Dating : I Miss Us!

I can vividly remember the song my sixth-grade class sang during our graduation many years ago; “Everything Must Change.” At that age, growing up in Philadelphia, change was something you welcomed with much anticipation when you were bored. As soon as summertime was over, the only change I was reluctant to embrace was going back to school, and reliving the stressful moments of meeting and making new friends and seeing the ones you didn’t get along with the last school year.

The first day of school was most stressful, and everyone wants to be cool, accepted, and not be the odd one in the class. There’s nothing like seeing old friends and hearing people say; “I missed you.” Think about it; being missed does make you feel special and gives you the sense that your friendship has value and importance. When you miss someone, some specifics may run thru your mind as you think about them in their absence.

I think the same is true in relationships, both past, and present. We express how and what we feel with our words, and one would hope by our actions that validate those same words.

As I’m writing this, I’m thinking about who and what I miss. Who and what I long for. I miss Texas! What about Texas? It was a laid back place, a small coastal city called Corpus Christi. I lived about four miles from the coastal bend, and I frequently visited Swatner Park where to the left ( depending on where you were standing) you could see downtown Corpus Christi, Rockport, and Port Aransas to the right. On a clear day, the view was breathtaking.

I have friends that I miss as well. Someone to share a laugh with, have a great conversation with and even lend a listening ear to when they needed. When someone misses you, and they say it, it’s personal. They miss you the person, and it could be your laugh, the way you smile or any one of the many distinct quirks that make you unique and it’s more than ok. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone tell me, “I miss you” ( emphasis on the pronoun “you”), I’d be a wealthy man. I am grateful for the many times I’ve heard such kind, heartfelt words that connect you personally to people or a specific person, place, and time.

Today I felt different; being in a past relationship where fond memories were created and tough times were overcome together, created ( I would think ) a bond. Perhaps not strong enough to keep us together because shit happened. We can get swept away by the memory of a good time or a good place in time and miss how we felt then, but not miss the person you were with. Up until now did I have the experience of hearing someone close to me say “I Miss Us” I realized, it was the past memories being misses along with desiring to relive in the present; memories of a short time ago, that no longer is.

I miss us, is something I would think of saying when I’ve moved on from a relationship and the person I’m with now, only reminds me of what we had. Did I respond to the “I Miss Us”? No, there was no point; I realized that what was being missed was something we had in the past. She didn’t miss me, the person in the present; else she would have plainly said so.

Memories can be both Bitter and yet sweet, but reading between the lines and getting it, Is Priceless!

Going Gainst The Grain