Dating : I Stole My Sister’s Jacket Because It Looks Better on Me

Dear Abigail,

This is your sister, Cindy, writing to you from the next room over. You may or may not have noticed that your pink denim jacket with sunflowers on it has recently gone missing — a great loss, indeed. Now, I believe I can be of some assistance in helping you to locate the item, seeing as I am the one who stole it.

Before you come storming in here, I urge you to keep reading.

Abigail, you and I have known each other for six long years. In all that time, have you ever known me to be a thief? (You may bring up your missing barbie collection, but I maintain it got lost with my invitation to your sleepover last summer.)

With regard to the jacket, I believe this all boils down to bad luck: You see, yesterday afternoon, while you were at piano practice, I made the unfortunate mistake of opening your closet door and trying some of your clothing on. I did so with no intention of commandeering anything. Honest. But after a casual glance in the mirror, I found myself face to face with a certain inescapable reality: Your jacket simply looks better on me.

I really didn’t want it to be this way, Abigail. Oh, how I wish I could turn back time and unpick your lock. I should’ve thought better of it. After all, everybody knows I look dazzling in pink. But there’s no turning back now, is there?

With that being said, I am in the process of preparing a written contract (in blue Crayola) that I sincerely hope you’ll sign at dinner this evening. In doing so, you would be forfeiting all rights to the coat, signing it over to me. Let us come to an amicable resolution dear sister, if only for the sake of our parents, who surely don’t need any more fuss.

After all, I’m only looking out for the best interest of the jacket.

With Love,

Cindy