Dating : I Want You

You needed to talk to me about something. What is it?

No… I mean… I don’t think it’s that important.

Come on. I know you. I’ve seen that face before. It looks like something important. Is everything all right? Please… you can trust me…

Ok. Here it goes. You know I’m crazy, you see me going crazy but you don’t understand that it is all you. I think I’m in love with you. I need you with me every day, every night, every time I take my drinks and puke wherever I fall. Every time I wake up and see those shadows trying to swallow me, I want it to be your shade. I want to love you every morning as you butter the toast, as you kill the bugs in the house, as you run around exercising and sweat like a pig. I want you getting fat, wrinkled, ugly, and disgusting as you get older. I want you to smell bad if that’s your thing. I want our little kids to be great and to make us proud and to forget about us because we will be such horrible parents. We will be so terrible because I love you so much and you love me so much. I want you to come with me in my whenever I hike a mountain and find preyed upon animals and eat the flesh all raw, so we can smile with blood and teeth in our mouths. I want you to be chocolate while I’ll be fruit and we can mix together forever in sweetness. I want to make love to you in the bathroom, in fields of all kinds of sports, in front of a million perverts, at the top of mountains and buildings, as we fall from an airplane and splattered ourselves all over and tangled. I want to caress your hair as it gets stuck in my knives, I want to look in me in the eyes and tell me that you hate that you love me so. I want us to go to the ocean and force ourselves to drown together in the middle of a kiss. I want to watch the moon with you and jump across to reach it and laugh and cry when we realize how impossible it is and how stupid we are and how we are never ever getting what we want except for each other. I want you to stomp your feet on the ground and on me, I want you to insult my family, my face and my disfigured eyes, my tiny nose, my weird, long fingers, my short height, my eternal damnation, and the few remaining blessings I have left. I love you awake and sleep and hazed and drugged. I want you in the morning cranky, in the afternoon dying, and in the night respectful and calm and I want you in the morning awake, in the afternoon laughing, and in the night giving yourself everything you want. I want to die with you taking my eyes out and me cutting your legs so I can’t never look at another person again and your ghost can’t walk to punish me. I want all of you over me in this body who craves nothing else. I want all of me over you so you forget you are one and instead you are two. I want us to share all the food we eat, I want you to enjoy the freak shows, the dances, the last pieces of pie, the coldness, and heat with me making every single of our situations even more unbearable. I want you to tell me how wrong I am whenever I am wrong and whenever I am right. I want you to tell me about you and then forget it so I can listen to you again and be fascinated. I love your skin, I love what you will become when I have you, I love what you are now, I love what you will be and what you could have been if I never met you. I love the sound of us two giving it all and failing forever, holding hands and blowing into our tummies. I want you because you make me go mad with desire, and because you love me too I must love you too because you love me too I must surely love you too, and if you give me chance, I will make you go mad with desire too. I want you to do stuff to me.

Hello? So?

Hm… um… nah, don’t worry about it. It’s not that important.

You know I’m your friend, right? I’ll always be here if you need to talk about anything.

I know… don’t worry about it… I’ll be fine.