Dating : I Went to Europe With a Guy I Met Online After Four Dates

We had a layover in Dublin on our way to Amsterdam.

The Dublin airport is one of my favorite places in the world. It’s been a gateway to many other cities on trips with many other people who are important to me.

There’s a little restaurant that serves a full Irish breakfast and Guinness 24/7. I’m sure it’s not objectively the best pour of Guinness I’ve ever had, but in the excited haze of landing in another country it always tastes like the best.

Amsterdam surprised and delighted us. We didn’t know much about the city beforehand— we booked our tickets solely based on price, and we had no idea how many adventures awaited.

But this isn’t a story about our trip.

It’s not a story about how we moved in together immediately after because we didn’t want to be apart when we got back, or how we got married last month over Zoom because of the pandemic.

This is a story about the present — where I am right now and what I’m feeling in this moment. Hunched over my laptop on our couch, fingertips tap dancing across the keyboard. Rain clatters against the roof and our cat occasionally lets out a soft snore next to me.

It’s storming right now and I’m thinking about when my husband and I were in Amsterdam — walking hand in hand through cobblestone streets, surrounded by the cool breath of October air and the drumming of rain on the canals. Huddled close under our umbrella, weaving through lines of bicyclists and groups of tourists. Popping into bakeries and small antique shops to escape the rain.

The storm builds — sheets of rain crash against the roof, plunge headfirst down the side of the house and sink into the ground.

I’ve always loved storms. They sweep in unannounced and baptize the city, immersing the streets in water and dispelling the smog. When they abate, they leave the air cleaner and the scent of rain still draped around the buildings.

When it’s storming I can forget where I am for a while. The white noise of the rain drowns out everything and I feel like I could be anywhere in the world. The sound of the rain lulls me deeper into memories of that week we spent in Amsterdam.

I don’t know if there’s a word for the emotion I’m feeling right now — this nostalgia without the sadness. This feeling of being entirely at peace, knowing that my husband is asleep in our bedroom and we’ll wake up together in a few hours and make coffee.