Dating : I’m In Love With the Idea Of You

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

When a relationship ends, it means there are things that one side could not tolerate. It’s not that you did something wrong, but perhaps there are things that your partner just simply cannot have in her life. And the sentence above is what they will probably use to explain it to you.

I worked hard on a relationship. I did my best to keep them alive, barely surviving from cold rejections and blue double-checks on WhatsApp. I invested my time, attention, and money for someone that will eventually leave me.

I was obsessed with the idea of having someone that is happy being treated the way I want them to be treated. I always reply fast, because I want to respect their time and don’t want to make them wait. I give them surprises, because I want to be someone that takes initiative. I talk to them the way I want someone I like talks to me. I did all that until they eventually leave and all that left was my broken self and expectations.

And in the end, I realize that I’m not in love with that person. I’m in love with the idea of someone.