Dating : In 2021, Effort Is Sexy AF!

My Relationship Look-Outs In 2021:

1) Don’t invest in someone based on how much YOU like THEM, instead make the investment in them dependent on HOW MUCH THEY INVEST IN YOU.

Advice from Matthew Hussey on relationships (if you haven’t watched his stuff, you definitely should!)

From the beginning, just be aware of how much they are investing into you, giving you time, showing you that they’re the person you should be giving your attention to.

2) Are you in the blue? (Matthew Hussey)

Look at the ratio of his messages to your messages. (This refers to iMessage but it’s really about any messaging platform).

Is it always your *blue* messages that you can see, while his are one word or one line grey responses? Just scroll through your chat, it’s easy to check.

It could be that he’s a bad texter, or it could be that he’s just not that committed.

3) He’s not where he wants to be in life and can’t commit!

(Advice from Steve Harvey from his book, ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’)

A man may not be able to be everything you want him to be if he is not where he wants to be in life.

If he isn’t progressing towards the job he wants, the goal he’s aiming for, he just can’t give you what you want or need in a relationship.

As women we think, but we can grow together, but apparently, they can’t always do that…

This guy wasn’t where he wanted to be, but I thought I could be his biggest supporter… never mind.

4) Don’t get touchy!

Now, this is very much a ‘me’ issue.

I wanted to please him so I let my boundaries down, did things that were unconventional for ME. I wanted him to like me…

No, you have to remember: YOU are the prize.

‘The one who controls ‘the cookie’, controls the game’ (Steve Harvey).

And I don’t think this should be a game, I hate games…

I’m just trying to live my life, you’re supposed to be my peace, my support, not bring me pain and stress.

BUT, we control the time scale, don’t do things that make you uncomfortable.

5) A man either has a plan for you, or he’s going to play with you! (Steve Harvey)

So if you’re not seeing the investment, then unfortunately, he’s probably just playing.

I am now at a stage where I don’t want to ‘see where it goes’ with someone who I already know doesn’t tick the boxes I need.

If I have stability, I want you to have stability.

Why should I expect less of someone than I do of myself?

I shouldn’t and you shouldn’t either.