h2>Dating : Is Jealousy A Sign Of Love?
I believe the best coping mechanism is to find and heal the root cause. No matter how hard you try to implement practical changes in your behavior, if you don’t treat the root of the problem, the symptoms will always be there.
Ask yourself: “Why am I jealous? Is the threat real or imagined?”
Chances are, it’s all in your head. This means it’s time to find the emotional wounds that lead to your jealousy. Were you abandoned before? Were you cheated on before? Do you have low self-esteem? Do you have an anxious attachment style?
If the threat is real or justified, I’d say you have a choice to make. For instance, if your partner has had an affair and has betrayed your trust, or if you’re involved with someone who doesn’t seek monogamy while you do, then it would probably be better for you to leave the relationship.
Gwendolyn Seidman, from Psychology Today, gives 3 practical tips to help you cope with your jealousy:
- Avoid situations that are likely to arouse false suspicions, such as snooping through your partner’s email or Facebook;
- Work on yourself. Build your confidence in yourself and your relationship;
- Communicate with your partner. Calmly explain your feelings and discuss how to find a solution. Don’t to it in a hostile, sarcastic way.
If your partner is exhibiting unhealthy jealous behavior, realize that it probably isn’t about you, it’s about them.
Reassure them about your feelings and identify the source of the problem together. It can be something you have done or continue to do, but more often than not, it has to do with your partner’s insecurities or sense of self-worth.
Both have to be willing to make changes and find a balance.
I was only able to change my jealous behavior when I started facing my abandonment issues. The healing journey has been long and painful, but it has also been extremely liberating. I still get insecure sometimes, but it’s not in an unhealthy way, and my partner and I always work through it together.
