Dating : It’s God’s Will

Two weeks later, after incessant phone tag on his part, Max took me to a quiet owl-themed cafe on a Friday night. He played me songs on the guitar and took me out to the balcony to kiss me as we overlooked the city and people watched. Truthfully, I’ve had a few men play guitar for me and was never impressed. In fact, I often found myself bored during these serenades, not because of a lack of music appreciation, but because all of these white men were painfully mediocre. Just because you can play an instrument doesn’t mean you can successfully serenade a woman.

As more time was spent with Max, I realized he was wholly absorbed in his looks and with himself. It was apparent he never got tired of hearing himself talk, nor constantly giving thanks to himself for his perceived accomplishments in life — which amounted to have a few successful YouTube channels, a master’s degree, and business aspirations. He would often send links to show me his fitness transformation photos and how many likes he received on his Instagram. It was through Max that I learned modesty was a trait I valued above all in a partner. I don’t remember disclosing much, if at all, about my life back in the states.

It is in this cafe with miniature owls watching over us, Max looked at me, not even serious, but as casually as he could, and told me he knew the reason he couldn’t get hard on the top of that fortress. I was eager to hear his answer. At the same time, I was surprised he wanted to continue to discuss it so openly with me. He spent hours googling, consulting with friends, trying to understand if it was an underlying condition, if it was the cold or if it was all in his head. He finally reached his conclusion after two weeks of our initial failed sex attempt.

“God intentionally prevented me from getting an erection that night. He didn’t want me to lose my virginity. I’m grateful for it, actually,” Max said.

I knew Max was religious, yet I never understood the true depths of it. He told me he vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. He said he really wanted to lose it to me, that he thought I was unique and beautiful enough to throw it all away. Yet, now he received clarity from God that it would be a mistake. It reaffirmed his position to remain chaste until marriage.

Though I respect Max’s decision and somewhat respect his brutal honesty, I am still confused by his actions.

To be honest, I am not quite sure what benefit he got from telling this piece of information to me. If God’s message was accurate, I would infer that I am not the woman for Max. If Max is genuinely a man of God, why keep trying to meet with me? Is it because even religious men are inherently flawed and are not exempt from the temptation of sex? Because sex is great and humans are allowed to make mistakes? Of course. Still, the question remains surrounding the intentions of Max’s consistent pursuit to hang out with me after the fact. I cursed at myself at this moment. How was it that I was always attracting the religious men? I made it a point in all of my situation-ships to state that religion did not have a place in my life. Yet, Max is one of the cases where even though the man is religious, he continued to pursue a relationship with me, even though it was going absolutely nowhere.

Thankfully, I told Max I could only spend a max of two hours with him because I was due to meet Ari at 9 PM in the city’s center to celebrate his belated birthday. I eagerly ran out of owl-cafe, vowing to never contact Max again. He clearly was not the guy for me, sexy accent or not.