Dating : Life transitions, day 5: Relationships

You attract what you are. At first glance, this sounds like a woo-woo, Law of Attraction, “things will happen because you want them to happen” statement. But it isn’t.

As applied to relationships, we are always peering into a mirror. Seeing ourselves reflected in the ones we love as well as the ones we hate (which are often one and the same).

If there’s something we dislike in another, it’s because we dislike that quality (or “fault”) in ourselves.

If there’s something we like in another, it’s because we also possess that quality (though it can easily go unrecognized).

We live in a world of contrast, and while it may seem backwards, the people who do best in relationships tend to be those who love themselves fully. Those who first loved being single before committing to more.

Those who didn’t love being single, and were always in search of the next relationship, often ended up addicted to their partner because they were trying to fill a void, they felt couldn’t fill themselves.

The truth is this type of “void” is easily healed through meditation and the acknowledgement of past pain. It may take days, weeks, or even months. But considering how long one has held such torment (usually from childhood), it’s a drop in the bucket.

When people say, “there’s a lesson in every relationship”, this is true. But this statement is often said with a sense of resentment, when it should be said with a sense of wonderment (isn’t it amazing that we get to experience so many things in this curious world of ours?).

The deeper you dig into spiritual and religious texts, the more you discover that mirrors are a running theme. Because what we see on the outside always reflects what’s going on inside.