Dating : Little Man and the Magical Lego Head

You’re never ready to hear some things in a day. Any day. And when Picasso ran in and said, “Little Man has a Lego stuck in his nose,” of course my heart plummets as I drop everything and hurry to him.

He’s not crying, but he’s obviously concerned. I can’t tell if he’s more worried about the Lego being stuck in his nose or the fact that he’s gotten it stuck there.

I touch the lump in his nostril to see how big the Lego is and he winces. “Don’t breathe through your nose,” I say in the calmest voice I can manage. “Somebody get me some tweezers.” Hurry! I want to yell but I know panicking will only make him scared and possibly cause more of a problem.

They bring me the tweezers and I try to get it around the piece and he makes scared whimpers. “You’re pushing it up!” he says.

(insert scared internal cussing here) “Okay, see if you can blow out.”

I hold the other nostril shut and he blows several times. Nothing.

“Let me try with the tweezers one more time.” I open the tweezers wider and manage to get it around the lego and pull. Nothing again.

(MORE internal cussing as I fight to remain calm and think)

He says, “Maybe I can put my finger on the side and get it out.”

“No, your finger is too big. Try blowing it out again.”

I hold the other nostril and make him blow as hard as he can and it FLIES out! The second it does, I hold his shoulders. “Do not EVER put ANYTHING in your nose again, do you understand me?”

He nods and I hug him.

A few minutes later, I asked, “Why did you put a Lego in your nose?”

“I didn’t,” he says.

“You didn’t,” I mutter, shaking my head. “Then how did it get into your nose?”

“Well, I was playing and I put my nose on the table and there was a Lego there and it went up my nose.”

I stare at him, studying how he looks when he’s lying. “A Lego can’t go up your nose that way. Tell me how it went up your nose. I’m not going to punish you.”

“So… you just want to know how it got up my nose,” he double checks.

“Yes. That’s all.”

He rehashes how they are playing up to the Lego/nose part. “And then I don’t remember what happened.”

I nod. “Okay. Sit here until you can remember and when you do, let me know.”

A couple minutes of sitting and starting into the space before him with random sighs, he begins to fidget and slouch and hum.

“Sit up straight,” I tell him.

He does as told and then a little while later, says, “I think it was already in my nose. Or not.”

“I’m not going to punish you either way, I just want to know how it got into your nose.” Why is he lying!?

“We were just playing and I just felt something in my nose.”

“Which hand put it in your nose?” I try to trick.

He holds up his right hand without hesitation.

“So you put it in your nose with that hand?”

“No, I felt it in my nose with this hand.”

Dear Lord of Hosts. “So the Lego just teleported into your nose?”

“Noooo!” he cries with a smile. “That’s unrealistic. I think I just felt it in my nose after I put my nose on the table.”

I’m staring at him, boggled. “Why don’t you want to tell me what really happened?”

He flops his entire upper body forward. “That is what happened. I just don’t want to tell you because…”

He doesn’t go on. “Because why. I don’t care how it happened, I just want to know.”

“I laid my head on the table and it was there.”

“And you pushed it up your nose?”

He sits back up. “No.”

“Then how did it get in?”

“I don’t want to tell you because I don’t know what happened.”

“You don’t remember how the Lego got in your nose.”

He shakes his head no.

“Well…I don’t believe that.”

He rolls his eyes and flops forward again. “I don’t remember and I can’t think about it.”

I’m out of ideas at this point. “Well, then you go lay down in my bed and take all the time you need to think. And when you remember, come tell me.”

While he’s gone, I wonder how to get him to be honest. More than anything, I just want him to feel safe telling the truth and he obviously doesn’t. It occurs to me that I had discussed it in front of others and maybe he was embarrassed.

I go in the room and lay down on the bed next to him. “I was thinking we needed to talk in private. You know, I know you told me it was one thing but it’s okay if the truth is a different story. I won’t be mad and I won’t laugh at you or anything. I just want you to tell the truth because you’ll feel better when you do and I don’t want you hiding the truth from me, it’s not good for you when you do that.”

He gives another huge sigh as he stares at the ceiling and I wait. “I think a situation happened,” he finally says.

“Okay, a situation happened. What kind?”

“Like… I think what Picasso said is half true and what I said is half true. But I’m just not sure which happened first.” Picasso had suggested he’d stuck the Lego up his nose while being silly but he’d denied it like the idea of doing such a thing was preposterous.

“So you were playing around and being funny with it in your nose and it went too far up?”

He nods.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me the truth.” I stroke the hair from his forehead. “You don’t have to be scared to tell me the truth. We can go in private next time to talk.”

He nods. “Can I go play now?”

“Yes you can.” I feel like I need to recap then. “What did you learn about Lego’s in your nose?”

“I learned that Big P said I can’t touch the Lego’s anymore.”

I’m ready to hand over the answers. “No, I mean did you learn that it’s bad to put a Lego up your nose because it can get stuck?”

He nods.

“Good. Go play then.”

Wow. I suddenly need a vacation.