Dating : Love

There are many poems, essays and quotes about love that I have cherished over the years. This is one of my favorites, as it was easy to remember and applicable as I focused on loving myself more. Growing up trained to be a co-dependent people pleaser and perfectionist, it took a lot of diligence and practice to learn my own value. It’s taken “endless forgiveness” towards myself where I’ve fallen short of my own high ideals. But as I’ve developed the habit of tenderness and forgiveness, it’s deepened my compassion and capacity to truly love others as well.

Give All To Love, a poem by one of my very favorite authors, Ralph Waldo Emerson, is another treasure I’ve learned from. For while he writes to “follow it utterly, hope beyond hope” he ends by saying that should the one you love pursue “a joy apart from thee” to let them go. And “heartily know, when half-gods go, the gods arrive.” This has served me well in moving on when a relationship ends, always to be followed by someone better.

I’ve found it helpful to remember in each moment there is a choice between love and fear, and choosing love as often as I can has vastly improved my life. It has fed my spirit and helped check the overactivity of the ego. It doesn’t mean the absence of firm boundaries, as that is a necessary component to self-love, which is a pre-requisite to the ability to love others with sincerity. But it greatly simplifies things when checking in on what motivates any particular action. When choosing love I can proceed with confidence and no regret.

Wishing everyone lots of love, kindness and compassion for yourselves and others this year and beyond.