Dating : Magnified little moments of growth

I was 20, my brother was 25. His was the first ‘wild’ wedding amongst my family of 16 first cousins. We were at that age, where we’d learned that 4 – day Indian weddings could also be raves. To cut a long wedding story short; the mornings during that wedding week were not fun!

So, understandably, on the wedding day, my brother struggled immensely to get out of bed and cater to the morning rituals. We cancelled most of those.

By evening, he didn’t have a choice but to get out bed- it was showtime — he had to get dressed to go get married! I pacified my parents, told them we had this under control! I fed him some coffee, made him wear my fake-but-emerald looking green bead necklace on his pink sherwani and put a little bit of kohl in his eyes. He looked like the groom!

I quickly got dressed too- only to realise everyone else had left. And of course, I had no hairpins that I owned to tame my wild, August curls. I looked everywhere while my mom and brother were yelling at me to hurry up. So, I decided to sport a mop on my head over a lehenga and not make too much noise about it.

We rushed into the car answering frantic calls from the dancing, sweating, unhappy ‘baraat’ waiting on us.

After a kilometre or two of driving, my brother asked the driver to take the car to M.I. Road. My Mom yelled, ‘Rohan, that’s the most crowded street in Jaipur! I’m sure you want to buy cigarettes? Don’t be ridiculous!’ Anyhow, the groom’s order over-rode all others. We stopped at a little store at the end of the street at a beauty shop, ‘Roop Nikhar’. He asked the driver to go in and buy a pack of hairpins.

My mom, brother and I all sat silently, waiting for the driver to get back and melt those 120 seconds of tension and reflection into the humid, August Jaipur air.

In that little moment, I realised every time someone crushes or shames our needs, our desires, even the tiniest ones- we dim a little part of who we can be. And, for every time someone acknowledges them, they empower us to grow and become more of who we are meant to be.