Dating : Men, Is It Becoming Harder To Flirt?

Recently, I interviewed a 41-year-old single male. I wanted to understand how men viewed flirting and what it means to them. As a woman, I understand it as an experience that some people are comfortable with and others are not. There are people who find it to be quite disrespectful and those who enjoy the process. I noticed that the young man had to actually pause for a second before responding. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was searching the mind for the correct words to ensure that I, a woman would not be offended by the answer:

“I can’t speak for all men, but I am very visual. I love women, I love their physiques, but if I see someone that I like or think is beautiful or sexy, they do not have to know it. I have enough control and respect to refrain from reacting to what I’m feeling at the moment.”

Two words jumped out at me, control and respect. It was clear that he wanted me to identify with who he was as a man. This led me smoothly into my next questions.

“So, you never verbalize your initial thoughts? Well, how do you even make one aware of your presence and prepare to make a connection?“

“I do, but in a way that makes them smile and most of the time they reciprocate. Depending on the place, I approach them with confidence and swag. If they seem interested, I go from there. If not, I accept it for what is and move on. I’m very extroverted. I love to compliment women when I’m out. I get it, I know many women feel good in what they wear and feel even better when someone pays them a compliment. It is like confirmation for them. I have to always remember that I could be complimenting an introverted woman and my approach could overwhelm her. I can’t get offended if she blows me off. I’m responsible for how I conduct myself in every situation. If I am sincere and meant well I stand by my truth. Women are constantly sharing how they feel about me in similar ways. Some have even shocked me [by telling me] what they want to do to and with me. Personally, I find it pretty damn sexy. I don’t judge their style because that’s what they do.”