h2>Dating : Mr. Hustler
I started texting with Mr. Hustler about a year ago. In the beginning, he was attentive. Eventually, he let one of his 3 businesses always pull him away.
Admittedly, I don’t usually date older men. It’s a bit embarrassing how young I have dated. But Mr. Hustler was about 8 years older than me, which is not my usual.
He was very kind and attentive, in the beginning. He was the father of three children. The youngest, already an older teenager. He ran three businesses, one of which his son runs. The main business he runs is a mobile repair shop. His business is basically AAA. If he gets a call from a customer who is stuck due to car issues, no matter what time of day, he will go rescue the car in distress.
Looking back, I’m not even sure how he made time to see me. But eventually, the excitement of new dates wore off and he didn’t make time to see me.
After texting and talking for about a week, he asked me out to go play pool. Mr. Hustler was a smooth talker. I would dare say, an old school smooth talker.
We met at a game center and went to play pool. I am not good at pool, by any means. I know a few rules, but I pretended I didn’t so that he could teach me. He was a good teacher, very kind and encouraging. Having a bit of a perfectionist flair, I wanted to do everything perfectly. Especially in front of a date. When I wouldn’t get the shot, I would whine and he would calmly and gently say it was alright and tell me to try again.
He was flirtatious, for sure. He would come up behind me and show me how to hold the cue. It was a summer night, so I remember wearing shorts and him caressing my legs while I was trying to hit a corner ball.
After a couple of games, we were going to go downstairs and get drinks, but my date was interrupted by a friend’s emergency. So we said goodbye and I was up ‘till the wee hours of the night helping a friend.
After the date: He texted and called often. At the time, the remake of the Lion King was coming out, so he asked if I wanted to see it with him. He picked me up and we went to see the movie for our second date.
We couldn’t do much afterwards because it was a late movie, with his busy schedule. We spent time in his car talking and making out the rest of the night until it was time to say goodnight.
After that second date, he texted and checked in every day, but we never went on another date again. It was as if he was breadcrumbing me. He didn’t want to let me go, yet he didn’t put off an effort to do anything more than texting. I tried to break it off and tell him that we weren’t really working out because of the lack of time and I wanted something deeper than what he offered. He kept asking for another chance, but never really did anything about it.
We kept trying to plan a third date, but he was always got called in to work.
Before one of his jobs, he came by one night to see me. He didn’t come in. I just met him outside in the driveway. He gave me a kiss and…there were no sparks.
He kept working, I kept living life. And eventually we fizzled out. I ended up going to the Philippines to visit family. He checked in with me once while I was there. And afterwards, I didn’t hear from him again.
Lessons learned:
- Always trust the kiss. If there is no spark in the kiss, it’s not going anywhere.
- He made time for me in the beginning. I refuse to believe that he was so busy with work that he couldn’t go on another date after our second date. Was I supposed to be honored that he stopped by my place before a job? It was convenient. And I am worth more than convenience, henny. It is a mere privilege for me to spend my time with you. Men will make time for what’s important for them. And if he ain’t making time for you, he’s made his decision.
- It’s important to give someone chances. But when you give them a chance and they aren’t doing anything different, it’s time to cut it off. I knew that this wasn’t going anywhere. When I tried to tell him and break it off, he wanted a chance to redeem himself. I gave it to him and he did absolutely nothing with it. Trust yourself. Be kind, but don’t let anyone take advantage.
