Dating : Okay, You Can Come Back Now

Long distance… thank goodness for modern technology

My very last Tinder date was with a South African who had moved to Australia. I knew full well what the situation was before we met and that he was going back. My friends were all away and I was keen to get out of the house and do something. So I thought nothing of it and was excited to meet someone new and enjoy a chat over dinner.

What started off as “just a Tinder date” turned into something that made saying goodbye undoubtedly tough. I never thought saying goodbye to someone would be this hard. I also didn’t anticipate falling for someone in such a short space of time.

We’re not in an official relationship, but it feels like it at times. He’s become the first person I want to share my news with, I think about him all the time, and he’s my first and last thought every day.

When we chat on the phone, we average at least an hour and a half of just talking. And our video calls are even longer.

This is what I’ve learnt thus far about long distance relationships:

• I get jealous of the people that get to see him every day.
• Australia is very far away from South Africa — I knew this before, but wow! It’s far. I can’t just hop in my car or climb on a local flight to go visit him. It’s at least 13 hours of flying, that’s if you don’t have a layover along the way.
• Communication gets tougher with the time differences. He gets up when I’m about to go to sleep, and I start my day when his is ending.
• I quickly learned to appreciate every moment I spent with him in December, before he got on that plane.
• Video calls are way better than phone calls or texting — thank goodness for technology and making it easier to see him.
• Physical touch is really important to me, and being unable to curl up on the couch with him or fall asleep next to him sucks.

We don’t know what the future holds — no one does. But I constantly remind myself that,

What’s meant to be will be.

Being on the waiting list for a liver transplant has made it even trickier to travel. I have to wait until my transplant, and then a year after that before I can consider going overseas.

I quietly hope that it will all work out and that I can see him again soon. I’ve had to catch myself from saying “I love you” over the phone because that’s honestly how I’m feeling.

But on the bright side, it’s made me see that there really are still guys out there that are genuine, down-to-earth, and looking for something more serious than just a cuddle buddy.

He’s the first guy in years that has just made me feel so comfortable that I haven’t even thought about keeping myself guarded or reserved. It just flowed from the moment we met.

Long distance relationships are hard, but they’re also incredible. If you can love, trust, respect, and support each other from a distance then you’ll be unstoppable once you’re physically together.