Dating : Relationships Aren’t a Priority in my Late 20s

From waking up to love-filled messages in the morning to ignoring each other’s texts over an ego war; to making travel plans to promising to never see each other again; from the initial apprehension of asking for a date to the discomfort of going through a breakup conversation; I have had all of it.

I am not a huge fan of luck, but the way relationships have unfolded in my life has certainly made me rethink luck’s role.

I was basically the nerd everyone thought who would never get laid.

But, things changed. Life has been generous in terms of experiences, especially in the dating section.

In my early 20s, there was the fascination for being in “love”, and funnily, I came out of all relationships feeling confused about the concept of love.

I enjoy another person’s affection, but I reached a saturation point. I am two years away from falling into the “30s club”, and I have realized how building a relationship is no longer a priority; contrary to what society thinks.

It is no longer about finding the most compatible partner; it has come down to if I even want a relationship. If I like a person, I usually muster the courage to express. But, I was beginning to notice an internal pull every time it came to me pursuing an interest. Despite some of the women being compatible, I noticed how I wasn’t letting my emotions influence my decision making.

There was a point in my life when I would have let these emotions take the driver’s seat. Since I got tired of life trying to teach me a lesson multiple times, I pushed my emotions to the backseat; with the seat belt on.

I don’t regret any of my relationships. But, in hindsight, in the name of “maintaining a relationship”, I remember turning a blind eye to a lot of things; especially the ones that involved self-development.

In the name of love, people tend to go above and beyond for the other person, and without an ounce of doubt, it is draining.

Emotional energy and time are scarce. If it is mostly spent for a relationship, there’s barely anything remaining for the tasks that you ought to do; the tasks and hobbies that bring joy and accomplishment.

As I tread through the last leg of my 20s, one of my biggest realizations is the importance of investing in oneself. Investing in activities that help one grow as an individual and more importantly brings a sense of accomplishment.

I am not demeaning the idea of dating. I would rather meet someone when I am growing or have reached the maturity for maintaining a meaningful relationship. Maturity is usually a precipitate of any kind of personal development. That’s why I feel channeling energy into areas that cater to an individual’s development is paramount.

John Boyd- the maverick fighter pilot lived by the ethos:

don’t impress; be impressive.

Being impressive is all about thinking in the long term, and saying no to most short-term gratifications. Unfortunately, some relationships cause us to deviate from being impressive to impressing someone.

Maybe, that someone can be yourself.

Thank you for reading!