Dating : Setting up the First Date

I highly recommend going on a lot of first dates. But safety, and being smart is always important. Here we are going to talk about setting up the first date.

The woman should always ALWAYS, no exceptions choose the location for the first date. Always. I don’t care if he has tickets to your favorite artist who is town next week. I don’t care if he lives 3 hours away. A first date is NOT the time to check out that new restaurant that just opened up downtown. Do that with your friends, do that on a later date — don’t go to a new place on a first date. I am confident, self assured, I don’t live in fear — but I choose to put myself in smart, safe situations as much as I am able.

Pick a place as your “first date spot” where you know the staff — having a few of theses are nice. I had a coffee shop, and a brewery as my primary locations but there were other places where I was comfortable. Either place I felt like the staff knew me, they knew I was bringing in first dates, I felt like they would know if I was “off”. That I could confide in one of the staff if I ever felt unsafe. Sure, I brought in a hell of a lot of first dates. I don’t really care what anybody thought of that. What matters is that I was only meeting men in safe locations. Both of which were also quiet places, with fairly priced food and drinks. Don’t pick a place that is over crowded, loud (can’t hear yourself think), or brand new to you.

I almost always initiated first dates: “Hey so I’d like to meet. How does 7pm on Saturday at the Named Brewery in City sound?” And then we negotiated from there. But I always insisted on meeting on my turf. I would not tolerate someone who challenged that. A good man respected and understood that I should choose the location that made me feel safe. If they nicely asked I’d explain “Hey you are still a stranger from the internet, I gotta keep myself safe, I feel safe at this place. It’s also good drink deals on that night/decent pizza/coffee, and is quiet enough you can hold a conversation so we can talk.”

If they pushed, that I should meet half way. Or on their turf. That it wasn’t fair. Done. Over. I’m not meeting. “Sorry you feel that way I guess this isn’t going to work out.” I’m not going to argue or defend my decision to keep myself safe to you. You either understand that or you don’t. I won’t argue, if you are going to argue with me on this, I know we are not going to get along.