Dating : Sorry That It’s Me

I checked my watch. It was already past eleven PM. I looked over to Blaire who was still chatting away with Jim and Carl. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was time to leave. Almost no one was left at the venue — only a few people that were still dancing to the music.

It was kind of weird being invited to Jim and Carl’s wedding vows renewal ceremony. I guess Blaire felt the same way because she was super set on not going.

I felt kind of bad if we’d stand them up on their second most important day so I encouraged Blaire to go.

And it was actually not that bad.

The ceremony was really sweet, Jim and Carl’s foster children are adorable, Jim’s grandma is a hoot and Carl’s not such a bad guy to get to know.

Watching them say their vows I couldn’t help staring in Blaire’s direction. For a moment the aching feeling subsided when I noticed she was crying but trying desperately to stop herself before I — or anyone for that matter — could notice.

But when they walked down the aisle and Blaire looked at me and smiled at me hopeful saying, “One day we’ll get to do that too”, that feeling hit me smack in the heart again and I almost showed how devastated I was.

Almost.

But I didn’t. Just like I never did.

What a joke it really was. Blaire being completely unaware of the turmoil she puts me through every damn day that I’m around her.

The wedding reception was also amazing. It must have been pretty expensive to arrange which leads me to believe they’re filthy rich. Well, at least that meant Jim’s company won’t shut down anytime soon leaving Blaire jobless again.

Just as I was about to tell her that it was time to go, Blaire cried out,

“Oh! I love this song!”

I tuned in to the music but I didn’t recognize the song. It was a pretty upbeat fast one.

“Oh, I really want to dance on this one,” she said embarrassed.

“Then why don’t you, love?” Jim asked.

She looked at me as if asking permission.

“Sure, go ahead.”

She gave a nervous chuckle.

“But…I don’t think I have the guts to go alone.”

“That’s where Nat comes in, honey,” Carl said.

My eyes darted in his direction.

“What?”

Jim clapped in excitement.

“Yes, love,” Jim said. “Go dance with your girl.”

I looked at Blaire.

“Uhm, i don’t think it’s…”

Blaire shook her head.

“It’s fine, she doesn’t have to…”

“This is your moment to shine, Nat,” Jim joked. “Be her knight in shining armour.”

They looked at me expectantly.

I looked towards Blaire who was looking pretty nervous and insecure. I hated for her to feel that way.

I put on a confident smile and stood up.

“Nat, what are you doi…”

I held out my hand to Blaire.

“You said you wanted to dance. So let’s.”

I gave her a reassuring smile and she gave me one that almost made me melt like butter.

She took my hand and I lead her towards the dance floor, leaving encouraging Jim and Carl behind who watched and cheered us on.

Blaire laughed and started dancing like a goof.

I laughed too and joined her.

And soon I started getting into the music and it felt just like it always did.

For a moment i could pretend she was just a friend to me.

But then the song ended and the next one came on.

A slow one.

I almost died right there.

Blaire looked at me as confused as I was. Should we move back to the table? Would they take no for an answer?

She looked passed me towards Jim and he gave us a thumbs up, while Carl leaned on his shoulder and beamed at us as if we were two newborn puppies.

I faced Blaire.

“I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I just didn…”

“It’s okay.”

Eyes focused she wrapped her arms around my neck.

I swallowed loudly and wrapped mine around her waist.

She gave me a reassuring smile.

“You okay?” she asked.

All I could do was nod.

We swayed to the music, my eyes never moving away from hers.

I couldn’t help it. I’d never felt that drawn to anyone before.

I thought Blaire would hate this, but instead she looked peaceful.

It hit me that we’d never been this close to each other before. Yes, there was still a space between us, but…

And then Blaire interrupted my thoughts by moving closer.

And closer.

Our bodies were touching.

And she wasn’t pushing me away.

“I’ve always wanted to slow dance,” she said, breaking the silence.

“Sorry, that it’s me,” I apologized.

“I didn’t say I minded,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

I didn’t know what to say but didn’t get the chance to.

Blaire leaned against me and sighed softly.

I looked down at her not sure what to do.

But yet it felt right to do what I wanted to.

I kissed her head and held her tighter.

And for a moment I let myself feel how it would be if she was doing it as more than a friend.

As if she wasn’t leaning against her best friend.

As if she was leaning against her only lover.

I glanced over at the table again but the guys were looking at each other dreamily.

Jim kissed Carl’s hand and Carl smiled.

They kissed.

I looked down at Blaire and felt so hopeless.

To know that this day — a wedding day — I’d never get to experience with the girl of my dreams.

My best friend that was in my arms dancing with me, because I was like a sister.

________

Thank you for reading!

This post is part of a Contemporary Romance web serial called The Marriage Plot. To read it from the beginning go to my Medium profile.

Happy reading!