Dating : The Beauty of Virtual Dating

About 2 months prior to COVID hitting the Bay Area, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend of 3 years.

Our relationship was pretty rocky. There was constant pressure for us to move in a direction I just wasn’t ready for. He wanted to get married, have babies, and for me to become a stay-at-home wife (none of which was on my radar). I’d reiterate to him that my goals conflicted with his and instead, I was focused on creating a career for myself. We were clearly on different life paths and after several disagreements, I finally called it quits.

I knew that ending our relationship was inevitable and let me tell you — Cutting ties was the best decision possible. It truly felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. During those 3 years, I spent so much of my time concealing who I really was. I felt ridiculed for being a free-spirit, extroverted, bi-sexual, and for being a lot of what makes me, me. I’ve vowed to only be my TRUE authentic self moving forward. I’ve vowed to celebrate my individuality, especially my sensuality, and not let anyone ever get in the way of that again.

Since being forced to stay at home, I decided to re-download Tinder to my phone. I signed up happily knowing no one could pester me about meeting with the strict stay-at-home order in place. It was a relief honestly, because I was only looking for conversation, nothing serious. Less than 48 hours of being on Tinder, I came across someone I was very attracted to. We instantly exchanged numbers and have been talking every day since.

Our first virtual dates consisted of propping up our phones in our respective bedrooms and playing the same movie or TV show simultaneously. We played question games, drinking games, and ordered the same food at the same time. We celebrated each of our birthdays virtually (both Aries, his birthday just a few days after mine), joined live DJ sets together, and learned more about each other, every single day. Dating virtually forced us to connect on a deeper level. By opening up and sharing our personal spaces and our intimate thoughts, feelings, and desires through a screen daily — the entire experience amplified and affirmed our undeniable chemistry.

What I really want to share is that I am so incredibly happy and although it may not have been a long time, I now know what it feels like to be in love. Of course I wasn’t expecting to connect with someone so quickly… But some things just happen naturally and there’s no reason to resist! I’ve always been very independent and to be with someone who truly respects me for me is the best feeling. This wonderful man of mine celebrates me for ME. He supports me in every which way possible. He motivates me to stay focused, work hard, and make my dreams turn into reality. I feel so incredibly lucky to have met such a kind, caring, giving, supportive, hard-working, compassionate, and genuine human being and it feels AMAZING to say— I am in love.

It took courage for me to end what was once “familiar” and to step outside my comfort zone. I finally released myself from all the judgement I was receiving.

I love the fact that I am free to be me and that I can chase after my dreams.

Since quarantine, I’ve really been able to dive deep into what I’m most passionate about. My goal is to help people explore and discover what feels good to them (and what doesn’t feel good). Support folks to go after what feels GOOD to them and make pleasure a priority. Life is way too short to be unhappy or unsatisfied, especially when it comes to your sexuality. I know firsthand what it feels like to be stuck or even “trapped”, but I cannot stress enough — Life is way too short to settle.

Present day, I facilitate virtual one-on-one coaching sessions and help clients eradicate the shame, trauma, and judgment when it comes to their sexual health and well-being. I love being able to encourage others to develop curiosity, open-mindedness, and a desire for continuous growth, helping them live a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.

If you’re interested in learning more, please reach out! My website is: PleasureExploration.com

Thank you for taking the time to read and I would love to hear about your experience with virtual dating since quarantine!