Dating : The Last Fling of Freedom

They decided to see an animated film about misfits destined for bigger and better things. It wasn’t very good or memorable, save for one moment somewhere around the middle of the movie when Roz and Ben’s hands touched. Calling this an accident would be disingenuous. Their mutual attraction was palpable, felt deep in the bones, pulling them inexorably together. But that first touch was the mere brush of a caterpillar, pinky to pinky, delicate enough to be almost nothing. Until neither of them moved away. Their fingers continued to exchange pleasantries during the big action sequence before becoming intertwined by the end.

They exited the cinema in a state of euphoria. The chilly evening autumn air had them racing hand-in-hand to her truck. Once inside, Roz kicked on the heater. They rubbed their hands together and watched their breaths form dragon’s smoke.

“Come here,” Roz said. “I want to tell you something.”

Ben scooted across the bench seat.

“Yeeesss?”

She brought her mouth next to his ear. He could feel the puff of air from her warm breath. It almost tickled. Then, she plunged her tongue in.

Ben had been fortunate enough to kiss a couple of girls in his young life, and those had been immensely pleasurable experiences, yet nothing prepared him for this. As Roz worked her tongue around his earlobe and the entrance to his ear canal, Ben’s nerve centers lit up like a pinball machine. A moan escaped Roz’s lips, and Ben became very aware of the erection in his pants.

They kissed then, their tongues darting and dashing in a dance. The truck hadn’t finished heating up, yet both of them were already warm. Roz removed her coat, revealing a white t-shirt. Her rosy cheeks reminded Ben of those offhand moments in band practice when he’d glimpse her during a solo, somehow both present and transcendent. A part of her would remain distant and inaccessible.

It’s worth remembering that Ben had never had his heart broken. At least not yet. He closed the door to his bedroom after she dropped him off that night, feeling so light he wasn’t sure if his feet were still touching the floor. He never told anyone about these little rendezvous, not even his closest friends. What he and Roz shared only belonged to them.

The rest of the fall semester slipped away with sporadic contact between them. They were both busy leading the lives of teenagers. Roz stayed active with all sorts of extra-curricular activities. Ben finished his homework in class and spent his evenings playing computer games. After his sixteenth birthday, he got a job at a restaurant washing dishes to save up for a car.

A friend from band, Sarah, invited Ben to a party. She played the oboe. They didn’t usually hang out but had gone to the same church since forever. His mom thought it would be rude if he didn’t at least make an appearance.

With a reluctant groan, Ben said, “Fine.”

Upon dropping him off, Ben’s mother noticed a familiar truck parked in front of the house.

“Oh, look, your friend’s here.”

“Looks that way,” Ben said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Let me know if you need a ride home, okay, pumpkin?”

Ben nodded. “Good night, mom.”

A sign at the front door said to go around back. Ben lifted the latch to the wooden fence, then followed a stone path leading to a large fire pit surrounded by people roasting marshmallows. The sliding glass door opened and out stepped Roz. They both froze when they saw one another.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“It’s been a while.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t know if you were gonna come,” Roz said.

Ben curtseyed. “Here I am.”

Their fingertips touched for the briefest of moments, the most discreet public display of affection. They joined the others around the fire. There was laughter, mirth, and music. The demands of socializing kept Roz and Ben apart for most of the night, save for a brief period when the others went inside to warm up. The two of them sat for a few extra minutes, silently watching the dying firelight cast liquid shadows on their faces.

“It’s cold,” Roz said. Her cheeks were rosy red, delicious.

“Wanna join the others?” He rose to offer her his hand. She took it.

Instead of heading inside, where it was bright and noisy, they relocated to the deck. Ben hopped up on the railing. She stood a short distance away, wearing a distracted expression.

“Come ‘ere,” Ben said softly.

She drew in close. Their body heat mingled while their breaths blew steam into the air.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Roz whispered.

“What?” Ben asked, rubbing her arms and shoulders. “This?”

Their foreheads came together. “I like you, Ben.”

Ben realized he had been holding his breath. “I like you too, Roz.”

She sighed.

Before either could speak again, a few people came back outside, including Sarah and her boyfriend. He was about to join the Navy.

“We were wondering where you were!” Sarah said.

Roz and Ben inched away from one another and greeted them.

“Are you guys hungry? We still have a ton of food left. My mom made taco dip.”

“Oh, that sounds yum!” Roz could turn the enthusiasm on with a switch.

“Want a plate?” Ben offered. “I need to go inside anyway.”

He returned several minutes later — having been waylaid by some friends on his way to the bathroom — carrying a paper plate piled high with chips and dip.

“That’s the funniest thing,” Sarah was saying to Roz. “Who could have guessed we’d both be engaged to military boys named Michael?”

Everyone seemed to look at Ben, who suddenly felt very warm. He blinked a few times. Ben could be naive, but he wasn’t dumb. Band kids gossiped as much as anyone. Still, it stung to hear it spoken out loud like that. In a moment that called, in retrospect, for acerbic wit, Ben could only manage to say congratulations.