Dating : The Loss of My F-Shaped Soundholes

I blinked in perplexity.

I had entered my studio intending to put my signature — Pieter Bloom — on my latest painting. But the painting was not as it had been. The violin that I had rendered with such delicate brushstrokes, particularly around the f-shaped soundholes, was gone. My portrait of a well-known musician was now playing the canvas-white ghost of a violin.

My cat, Esmé, came to my side. ‘What’s happened?’ I asked her. She turned towards the wall that separated the studio and my bedroom. I followed her gaze. The wall shook as something thumped against it.

I rushed to investigate. My bedside cabinet and bed were attacking a violin. I looked closely: it was the violin from my painting, defending itself with its bow. It stood little chance, though. In a coordinated movement, the bedside cabinet suddenly held down the violin’s fingerboard while the bed reared up to deliver the coup de grâce.

‘Stop,’ I ordered.

My bedroom furniture paused in mid-attack. The violin wriggled from under the cabinet but had not foreseen a further enemy. Esmé sprang forward, hooked the claws of one paw around the violin’s remaining string and dragged the instrument down the stairs. I picked up the bow and set off in pursuit.

I found Esmé struggling to pull the violin through her cat flap in the front door.

‘Don’t be silly,’ I told her.

Esmé glared at me, dropped the violin and disappeared outside. I then heard a fluttering sound behind me and glanced over my shoulder. Salvador, my parrot, swooped down, grabbed the violin in his beak and flew through an open window.

I hurried to the window and watched Salvador carry the violin across my garden and over the common. Two gardeners were using a machine to grind branches into woodchips.

‘Oh, no,’ I said.

Salvador opened his beak and sent the violin toppling into the shredder.

I dropped the bow, trudged back to my studio and sat down in front of the painting. I stared at the space where the violin should have been.

I especially missed those f-shaped soundholes.