Dating : The Miracle of Love That Revolutionized My Life

I am a living witness that you can be chosen by Love.

I was written off as a lost cause. But I’m living proof that miracles can happen. Victoria Arlen

“That’s it! I have to leave this place.” I said. Believing the maxim, you must change people, places, and things to stop alcohol and drug use; I decided to move. Therefore, I got a map of the United States and spread it out on the dining room table. Closing my eyes, I raised my finger, made a circling motion, and touched down on the map. When my eyes opened, my finger had landed on Las Vegas, Nevada. Of all the places in America, I just had to pick Sin City.

Being a firm believer in fate or destiny, though, I packed everything in my life, people included and left Tulsa, Oklahoma. You may think this is the worst decision I ever made based on the reputation of Las Vegas; however, it became one of my best decisions. If I had not left, I would not have come back.

Moving did nothing to abate my active drug habit, and the cycle of addiction repeated itself over and over. Any semblance of my former self evaporated, and the drugs consumed me. I spiraled down into the darkness of paranoia and pain. Feelings of loneliness, bitterness, and self-loathing fueled the flame of addiction, and isolation became the cacoon I dwelt in.

Nevertheless, I earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and worked for many non-profit agencies while battling my addiction. My appearance and demeanor always deceived my employers because I did not look like society’s typical image of an addict. I can handle it was the lie I embraced while living an insane and conflicted life.

Eventually, I lost sight of my dreams, my family, and myself. My goal of obtaining a Master’s Degree in Social Work, dissipated. I still cannot remember many of the milestones of my children’s early development or their achievements. My daughter recently reminded me of the time she had to enroll herself in the fourth grade, and my heart fell. Eighteen years disappeared into nothing.

But, I never let go of my faith and believed God had a purpose for my life. Even as a child, a feeling resided deep within me that my life held meaning. I sought God and received my first spiritual encounter while attending church camp. We had vespers every night under the stars at the top of a small hill. One evening before service began, I climbed the wooden steps cut into the side of the hill. Honeysuckle sweetened the air while dandelion fluff swirled around my ankles.

Slowly ascending, my heart was seeking a Presence greater than myself. After reaching the top, I sat down on a wooden bench and gazed at a cross made of rough-hewn logs. Looking up at the sky, clouds of pink, pearl, and gold transformed into a heavenly city of castles and towers with onion-shaped domes. The sky filled with shining rays of brilliant color.

I believe God gave me a glimpse of my future home. I had read about the New Jerusalem in the Bible and knew it was currently located in heaven according to Revelation 21:2. This vision planted within me a desire to follow the passage leading to that Celestial City. However, circumstances and distractions beckoned me to walk a different road, and my feet veered off the path. Somehow, though, I would find my way back to Him.

Then, one day, I received a phone call. My estranged mother’s voice was at the other end of the line. My heart dropped. We had not spoken in years. After gathering my composure, I asked if something was wrong. She explained that she and daddy were sick and requested I come home. I exclaimed a resounding, “Yes!” We talked a while longer and then hung up.

Thoughts raced through my mind. When can we go? I had no money to move. How can we go? I did not have an operational vehicle. Taking a step back, I studied the situation. Suddenly, an overwhelming awareness flooded my being that this is the thing I am supposed to do. Subsequently, I prayed God would provide the way and the means to move. Three years later, we had the opportunity to relocate.

During the 1,800-mile journey, I had ample time to consider what lay ahead. My parents made plans to spend their last days with me. However, thirty years earlier, a rupture occurred in our relationship because they disapproved of the man I chose to date. Their ideology about race set forth boundaries they felt should never be crossed. Consequently, I had a baby and lost a family.

Forgiveness became the key ingredient in repairing the breach that existed between us. I asked my parents to forgive me of the perceived offenses I committed against their sensibilities. They asked the same of me, and we enjoyed the freedom of spirit that forgiveness releases.

While anticipating my family reunion, we entered the Tulsa city limits, and I experienced the miracle that changed the trajectory of my life. I passed through an invisible shield or barrier — I do not have the words to articulate what happened. The atmosphere sparkled, and I transformed. Instantly! I encountered a Divine reality shift and emerged a new creation. Light broke through my cocoon.

Overcome with joy and relief, I pulled over on the side of the highway and asked if anyone else felt the touch of God. The passengers watched with mouths open and astounded looks while I stuttered and cried about my life-changing event.

I knew I was delivered from alcohol and drugs. The burden of addiction lifted and the desire to use disappeared. I have not had a drink or drug since July 29, 2008. God, in His timing and grace, snatched me out of my hopeless condition.

I have since learned that life in the chrysalis serves but one purpose — to prepare us for life as a butterfly. I now live with the conscious intent to impact the lives of others in everything I write, say, and do.

I am a living witness that you can also be chosen by Love.