Dating : To the guy who ghosted me…

To the guy who ghosted me after 6 months of dating, F*ck you and thank you.

You ghosting me was an abandonment and disappointment trigger similar to what I have experienced with my dad and my stepdad. A few weeks before you decided to ghost (you absolute tool!), I had made the healthy decision to cut off my stepdad who was starting to be a toxic influence in my life once again. I was feeling good about my decision to eliminate the toxicity in my life. Things with you were going well so I thought but in hindsight there were a few red flags.

Shall we talk about your sudden angry outburst at some university student at bar, your drinking, you bailing to pay for a meal because you only had £42 in your Monzo account, trying to style it out as if you were interrupted by a phone call. Nope, I saw your account balance. You were broke and yet you ate the most food knowing you’re situation. I paid £80 for a meal I barely ate, out of embarrassment for you. I was the fool here, not you.

I digress, things in theory were going well on the face of it but after you stood me up twice in one week I called you out on it and till today you are yet to acknowledge the error in your ways, apologies or even provide an explanation. Your lack of communication sent me into a state of confusion, anxiety and depression as I tried to figure out what went wrong and what I did wrong. I was wrong, this wasn’t about me, this was about you. As I said, lack of communication is classed as a form of emotional abuse and you sir, are an abuser. This was probably not your first time doing something like this and it won’t be your last.

I have found it hard to let go of my emotion about this experience as I was shocked that someone who prides himself on being an “upstanding” person with such morals could actually end up being a grade a dickhead.

This is quite satisfying to write.

Now for the thank you.

Thank you for the experience as it forced me to dig deep and deal with years of issues and hurt that I had ignored. I went to therapy and it was great. Calm your ego, you were not discussed in any of the sessions because my therapy wasn’t about you. Therapy helped me focus on two issues. I suffer from anxiety (ranging from mild to severe) which then can lead to occasional bouts of severe depression. I learnt healthy coping mechanisms and tools which has resulted in me being a better and happier person all round.

So AY, F*CK YOU and thank you.