Dating : We Also Make Crorepatis

Milind was late. He glanced at his Rolex and gunned the BMW. Mumbai traffic was unforgiving. He cursed his chauffeur for having fallen ill. His mind went back to the heated meeting with his CEO & CFO. How dare they oppose his idea to retain the price points of their best selling entry level soap? What do they know about marketing? Just bean counters.

Rising the price of the bloody soap by 10 paisa would kill the business. He knew his customers & cut-throat competitors well enough. He commanded Siri to play his favourite ghazal. His proposal to change the packaging of their luxury shampoo was also shot down. The CFO says no budget and the CEO nods. He cursed them. A biker snaking thro the traffic scraped the sides of the BMW at the red light. Milind had to left off steam. He switched off the engine, got out of the car and grabbed the biker by the collar. A few slaps and loud slanging match followed. People gathered around, watching them with bored expressions. A cop barged into the crowd, separated the entwined duo, and urged Milind to get into his car. The signal turned green. The BMW roared. This soap & shampoo business was getting on his nerves.

Ram finished his drink and looked around the swanky dimly lit lounge. He could see a few familiar faces, many of them from nearby corporate offices, seeking sanctuary after a busy day. Should he have another of this exotic cocktail or wait for Milind? He was hooked the first time he had this delirious wonder at a Beijing pub. He was stationed there for almost a month to oversee the launch of their biggest technology hub and that nearby pub kept him sane. His business entertainment expenses in that single trip alone would have kept a low-income indian family of four afloat for a year. But thats the cost of doing business, especially in China. He eyed the Jaguar keys on the table. Should he change his car? He had enjoyed the ride on the Maybach with his Chairman last week. He could easily afford it. But would it offend his boss? Perhaps he should stay a notch lower. He looked out of the window. The lights of Dharavi twinkled.

Milind waded through maze of tables and sofas. Ram was at their usual corner.

M — Hey buddy, sorry I am late

R — How did your meeting go? You look jaded.

M — Those idiots are adamant. They are bent on increasing prices.

R — You expected that, didn’t you?

M (removing his jacket) — I need a drink first, badly.

Ram hailed a passing waiter and ordered their usuals.

M (easing into the deep cushions) — I am buying that hill bungalow.

R (whistling) — You have taken a long time to decide, haven’t you? The prices have gone up since I got mine there.

M (loosening his tie) — I have to spend my bonus. I got a reasonable discount.

R — I heard the old man was not dropping prices anymore.

M (smiling) — Let’s just say the lady was obliging.

R — Hmm, you worked your charms. I thought you would. She is goddam beautiful. When her old man gets to know what she has done for you, he’s going to throw a tantrum.

M (laughs) — Well, she wrung something out of me too. I now have to work my magic on our CSR team.

R — Deals within deals. You are a crook Milind.

M (grins) — My company gains, I gain, she gains….everybody wins and the world is happy.

R — Nobody loses? Are you sure?

M (with a quizzical look) — I sense guilt. Haven’t you upped the monthly charity contribution yet?

R — I am tired of travelling. I am off to Manila tomorrow. Another big offshore centre going live.

M — You fly business. Stay in Hilton. Call the shots. You got a big team running around. The money keeps rolling in. What’s the problem?

R — Whats next?

M — More flights. More business. More money. Live life, king size.

R — Are you going to sell soaps & shampoos your entire life?

M (shrugging) — It does have its dull moments. But the job has some exciting complexities that gives me a purpose on most mornings. It is quite interesting to go into the minds of housewives and teenagers, study their behaviours, influence them to buy my soaps & shampoos. And I am being paid well to do that. No complaints.

R — I need the money too. My wife wants me to bankroll her e-commerce venture. My son is eyeing Harvard. God knows I got my own spendthrift ways.

M — There you go…

R (gesturing towards the window) — Do you sell to the people in the slums?

M — Of course. They are prime customers for our entry level soap and I am fighting tooth & nail to prevent the blokes in my office from rising prices. These people are fickle. They will just switch. I have studied them for years, believe me.

R — Why do you keep selling them soaps & shampoos? Can’t you do better with your time, skills, resources & money?

M (clapping) — Wow, deep thoughts buddy. What happened to you?

R (peering at his drink) — I read about the monk who sold his Ferrari.

M (smiling) — I also read about the techie who quit to become a farmer.

R (leaning forward) — Makes me wonder if we should do that too.

M (laughing) — We have these wistful conversations now & then, but it goes nowhere. We are too busy for that. You make software & I sell soap. I think we are designed for that. Our upbringing, education & environment have all conspired to make us what we are. And we are the best in what we do, aren’t we?

R — I have heard you before, and I know what you will say next. We are products of evolution. We specialise. Survival of the fittest. We do our bit. Give back to society. Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the ride.

M (rising his glass) — Cheers. And with that, lets get a refill. (signals to the bartender)

R (smiling) — Thats our karma I guess. I will down that drink and go kick some B. in Manila. Are you getting your bonus?

M — You bet. That’s the carrot my CEO is dangling in front of me. If I agree to the 10 paisa hike and sell more soap this quarter, I can switch to E-Class. I am tired of BMW. But, of course, it is not going to be easy.

R — What do you plan to do?

M (drinking deep) — I think I will get my idiot CEO down to Dharavi and ask him to sell some soap there. He needs a refresher course in Marketing 101.

R — Get him to agree to a 5 paisa hike instead?

M (grimly) — If i can do that, I will settle for the C-Class. No problem.

R (in mock horror) — What a pity.

M (smiling) — You know we got a lot more products — shampoos, toothpastes, noodles….

R — So you will get your E-Class after all.

M (winking) — Sooner rather than later.