h2>Dating : What Being Stood Up Taught Me
Based on the title of this article, you’re probably wondering why I included a photo of a woman who is clearly living her best life for the camera instead of the usual dark and dreary photo of a person shedding tears and wearing an all black ensemble to represent the distress of being stood up by someone.
Long story short, I met a person and ignored a lot of red flags. I justified the disinterest as being “too busy” or “going through something” to protect my ego and pride of someone not liking me. I mean, I thought I was a pretty cool individual…haha.
Anyway, I found myself waiting for this person to show up. After five minutes of waiting to see this individual appear out of thin air, I came to the heartbreaking conclusion that I was being stood up. Instead of being welcomed by the presence of this individual, I was met with a slap in the face.
A much needed slap in the face.
So, I was upset, as I should be. Not because I was stood up but because this person seemed excited to see me just as I was excited to see them. As much as I was upset, I couldn’t put all of the blame on this person. I should’ve listened to my intuition which tried to guide me in the right direction so many times but each and every time I ignored it because I believed this person would be good for me.
And they were.
From this experience, I chose to be happy. I’m not going to lie, I was bitter about it but I realize that this was nothing more than a learning experience. A learning experience I wouldn’t wish on you but if you do end up in this situation just remember:
- Your intuition is your best friend
- If I had listened to that gut-wrenching sensation I had at the pit of my stomach from the very beginning I could’ve avoided the humiliation. If I had just took the red flags seriously I could’ve saved those tears for Johnny Cade in The Outsiders. Your intuition is your best friend. It won’t steer you in the wrong direction. If you listen closely, you will differentiate between your intuition and anxiety and fear which can be mistaken for one another. If you feel like something is not right, listen to your intuition. If you have to second guess then maybe your intuition is trying to tell you something. Just Listen.
2. This says more about the person than it does about you
- Being treated far from respect does hurt. What doesn’t hurt is being a human with compassion. I’m not saying that those who stand up others are not compassionate. I am saying that it doesn’t take much to text, call, communicate your disinterest in someone rather than pulling off this disappearing act after targeting someone’s vulnerability through love-bombing. Be a kind person, we need more of that in this world.
3. Turn the night around
- You’re already out, you might as well have a good time. Luckily for me, my confidence and self-esteem was not shot after this incident so I stopped at a local skate shop, randomly went up to a guy and started a conversation with him about skateboarding (even though the closest thing I knew about skateboarding is Avril Lavigne and Tony Hawk). We ended up going to see a movie and had a nice night out. Of course, you don’t have to go up to a random person. I was lucky in that sense. Treat yourself to something nice, buy yourself a nice dinner, text or call a friend who may be available to hang out with you. A second option is always a good idea if plans don’t go through.
4. Smile Again
- Honestly, if it wasn’t for this night I wouldn’t have grown and have loved myself a lot more now than I did before. Put yourself on that pedestal again because you are worth it. You have endured something that probably bruised your ego a bit but you survived. Don’t sulk over someone who doesn’t give you their time of day. They are obviously not worth your time. Be happy that the person cut themselves out of your circle. You didn’t even have to let them go. Kings and Queens never do the dirty work. They saved you the trouble and did it themselves.
As you should, keep smiling.
-K.L.
