Dating : Why 35-Year-Old Men with $100,000 Salaries Take Toilet Selfies for Dating Apps, and What to Do…

Dating applications are painful because they suck the life out of you. Every time you see a guy posing next to a fancy car, you want to remove the app and never install it again. Every workout photo featuring a man flexing in the mirror chips away from your soul. If you have ever tried Tinder, Bumble, Hinge or any other app, you know what I’m talking about.

The fish pictures are the worst. I saw a guy the other day with a somewhat decent profile. And then I saw him holding the fish… The fish was so ugly and scary; I swiped left immediately and called my therapist to book a session this week. After seeing that fish, the therapy seemed like a necessity.

The toilet selfies deserve a book on its own. Okay, I get it; you were looking for good lighting and a proper mirror to photograph yourself. But is it really necessary to capture the TOILET in the background? Could you have not closed the stall’s door?

I once saw a guy posing for a toilet selfie with a golden toilet. Let me repeat that: a GOLDEN toilet. I don’t know if the fellow was at an ultra-fancy hotel or he was flying on Donald Trump’s jet, but that day I reached my limit and decided to take a break from online dating.

What doesn’t make sense is all these men I see online indicate decent jobs on their profiles. Obviously, some of them are jobless, and some are lying. But out of all the pictures I see, almost no one puts any effort into them.

So, how good of a job does a guy need to have to avoid a toilet selfie, a horrendous fish photo, or a let-me-flex gym picture?