Dating : Why Do Guys Assume They Can Have You?

The answer is primarily physical.

My friend Whitney can’t seem to comprehend it. She’s recently divorced, and back in the dating scene. Bar hopping, dick pics, guy friend confusion, swiping left and right galore, and so much more.

Let the games begin…

The question she continues to ask me, as a long time, platonic guy friend, that has been a part of her life since long before we were both married.

Why do they all think they can have me so damn easily?

A validated explanation might be simpler than most think. While women tend to see the landscape of sex in a different hemisphere, men have a rather basic approach. It’s not really about how amazing the person they’re pursuing may be. It’s a physiological desire that predominantly comes from massive amounts of testosterone raging through them. Raging through us.

It’s difficult to describe the feeling in words. By no means is this to say that women don’t also feel equally horny, raging, and lustful. It’s just that most men generally lack an alternative avenue to take.

But is it really all physical? Can men be trained to be more respectful and understanding that not all women want their cock inside of them within ten to fifteen minutes of texting?

In so many ways it’s nearly impossible. Men feel and experience love and connection in such a different way than women, it’s perplexing to calculate.

While women naturally comprehend an emotional connection before transitioning to physical activity, we horn dogs undress hundreds of women a day in our minds. Not only do men feel and strive for the energy, excitement, and hunger of sex, but traditional values and traditions favor men making the first move, and acting as the predator.

When I think about my own dating experiences, I absolutely was the predator for the majority of those instances. While I didn’t think much of it, there was a natural and frequent challenge for me to get the girl. There was competition at night clubs, buying drinks, and freaking booties on the dance floor.

The true test of my success came down to if she made it back to my place, so the bragging could begin. Exaggerated stories could be shared over mimosas the following day, hung over and proud.

While that existence quickly faded for me, choosing to find someone I could build a life with, many men either refuse to grow up, or simply never grow up.

As I respond back to Whitney, trying to find words to console her confusion and despair of modern dating, I remind her that the next guy she meets might be more grown up. He may have been raised in a household that values respect, chivalry, and restraint.

Maybe he already went through a spell of raging hormones, spread his seed, and is finally ready to settle down with the right person. The classic case of getting it out of his system.

It’s possible he’s also divorced, looking for find the type of love, or possibly lust he lacked in his previous marriage.

Nonetheless, he’ll probably be exactly what she expects and continues to encounter.

A man that is defined by his physical being. Whether he likes it or not.