Dating : Winnie The Pooh And The Prostitutes

Winnie The Pooh And The Prostitutes

“Aare kholne kyon nahi de raha be”, said the 55-year-old lady while grabbing the knot of my trousers drawstring, laying on her back in a 4’ to 5’ small room on a much smaller bed which can’t be used for anything apart from missionary. Smelling like cum and sweat with an only source of light which is a yellow bulb emitting heat even more than a furnace. She was laying there with her legs wide open. A box of condoms was just beside her head. “tera khada kyun nahi ho raha be”, she said with a suspicious smirk on her face while grabbing my Winnie by its head, and trying to wake it up. “mujhe nahi karna hai, aap rupee bhi rakh lo, mujhe jaane do, haath hatao na, main apna pajama nahi khol raha aapke aage” I said repeatedly, again and again, trying not to hurt her feelings or something as I won’t be able to make my Winnie do the pooh with her ever.

About 2 hours ago, 3 of my friends and I were drinking whiskey and smoking pot on the roof of my PG. We called each other by name of the states we belong to – U.P, Bihar, Haryana, and there was a Uttrakhand in our group already. So, I was Haldwani.

“Yaar bahut hi bhook lag rahi hai”, said Bihar.

“humko to pyaas lagi hai”, said Haryana with a smirk on his face.

“Hum kya kare be phir”, said U.P with an irritated look.

“Mujhe to yaar uski bhut yaad aa rahi hai”, I said out loud while thinking about my girlfriend.

“Main virgin hoon!”, Bihar screamed as if we were going to break it.

“Kya???” all of screamed at Bihar, and Haryana said “Schme? Kaise re? Aaj tak nahi hua?”

“G.B. Road chal phir, tudwate hai teri”, Said U.P

“Aare chalo chalo!!” all of us shouted our lungs out.

All of us booked a cab and went there to help Bihar losing his virginity, in about 20 minutes we reached our destination. We got out of the cab at 1.34 AM, all of us had just a 500 rupee note in our pockets, and that’s it.

Apart from U.P, no one of us has ever had sex with a prostitute, he was the only one who bought a phone which he hid in a dumpster parked there, and while doing that U.P said, I quote his words “Jo maza randi deti hai na, wo koi ye evi evi wali ladki nahi de skti”. We were excited, drunk, and high af. Just after walking a bit on that empty road that has no streetlights. All of us were looking at the other side of the street as a tube light just started to blink there in a short alley. There was a car parked there in the dark. It turned out to be a jeep that started to blare the police siren, then out of nowhere, Haryana screamed “Bhaagoo!!! Police!!”, and all of us started running with his hands up as the police was going to shoot at us.

The only thing that was on our baked minds while running with our hands up, and screaming, “Police!! Police!! Police!!”, is that if we get caught, he’ll kill us, prostitution is illegal, smoking pot is illegal, and we’ve done all of that. We ran and ran and ran as our life was depended on it.

We stopped after a bit, and there was no sign of any cop anywhere. All of us then started looking for girls, but we didn’t find any. We were walking right behind UP, and then he saw an aunty. We walked towards her, and UP asked her, “Karna hai, ladki hai?”, she replied, “Han hai, 320 lagega ek ka”.

All of us were extremely overjoyed as the prices were so low. She started walking towards a 2’ wide dark alleyway full of broken stairs leading to the second floor. Just when we finally saw a light at the end, an old man was standing there who started counting us, and shouted in his crippled voice, “geeta, Meena, sunaina, raakhi, uth jao tum log! Customer aaye hai”, there were 2 large rooms, that were connected through a small kitchen. There were 9 aunties and one old man. Most of them were sleeping, but two of them were watching an old B&W TV. The place was stinking like a scrapyard. The aunty who led us here started searching in our underwear, and pockets. She got 500 rupees out of all of our pockets. “Tu to pehle se khada krke laya hai re”, said one of the aunties to UP, and he smiled back. There were no girls at that place. There were only aunties who were looking at us like an eagle who is gazing its prey.

UP was the first one to go as we have to go one by one, he went with the one who caught his Winnie earlier. We waited for about 3–4 minutes sitting in front of the TV on the chairs, and then that aunty came with a smile on her face and UP was behind her also with a smile on his face. As those two were coming to us, UP grabbed the auntie’s butt with whom he just did what we were thinking. Then came a 55-year-old wrinkly woman in a nighty, and grabbed my hand.

She took me in that 4’ to 5’ small room, locked the door, sat on the bed, raised her nighty, and said, “daal andar”. The only thing in my mind was that I would never be able to that with her, and that thing too, to that I was really scared. “mujhe nahi karna hai, aap rupee bhi rakh lo, mujhe jaane do, haath hatao na, main apna pajama nahi khol raha aapke aage” I said repeatedly, again and again, trying not to hurt her feelings or something as I won’t be able to make my Winnie do the pooh with her ever.

She switched off the light as she thought I can’t do it with her while seeing her, but I just repeatedly said I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it, and I just couldn’t let go of my pajama. I started rattling my hand on the lock in the darkness to open the door and get out of there as soon as possible. She sat up, opened the door, and I slowly walked towards my friends.

Bihar stood up and said to all of us, “Bhai mujhe nahi karna, please le chalo mere ko”, bhut we couldn’t do anything to save him. He went with the youngest aunty amongst all of them, and while we’re waiting for him, Bihar settled on an agreement with the prostitute that he doesn’t want to even touch her, he will wank his Winnie by himself while wearing the condom, and that’s what he did.

But that wasn’t the only thing he did, just after he took out the condom he pushed the door so hard that the lock broke, and he ran out through the dark alley as fast as he can. UP and I ran just behind him, but Haryana stayed.

We waited for about half an hour, but there was no sign of him.

He came out at 3.46, he proudly walked towards us in a bit of stumbling way with a lifted chest, bruises all over his face and said that he had a foursome as Bihar and I did nothing up there and they got a bit dirty with him and that’s how he got the bruises. But all of us knew that he was hiding something.

But, the story is that’s how I saved my Winnie to do the pooh with the prostitutes.