Dating : Women Should Desire Sex

Consent is not enough

Consent is considered the requirement for sex with a woman. I am talking about heterosexual sex here, but the same must be true of gay sex. Agreement is the acceptable bar for consensual sex.

I want to argue that it is not enough. A woman may be in an abusive relationship and agrees to sex when she does not want it but is afraid of the consequences. Her partner may pride himself that there is never non-consensual sex in their relationship but does not realise that his tyranny in other aspects of life removes a freely given agreement.

Many men who date need to be sure that a woman is desirous of sex. They may be dating a woman who was abused as a child or has other issues that would make saying ‘no’ very difficult.

Men who use prostitutes may assume that because sex is for sale, consent is implicit. However, that woman may have bills to pay, mouths to feed, or may be a victim of exploitation, trafficking, blackmail, immigration status etc.

Women are easily commodified. Historically, sex with a woman has been a weapon of war, a comfort to soldiers, a method to creating a master race, etc. Sex sells everything, or it used to, until the #metoo movement exposed how much women’s’ bodies are used as a selling tool.

OK, men who date these days are not necessarily using comfort women, but consent can be lost in moments of passion. A kiss can lead to sex that is desired by the woman, but it can also lead to a lot of bewilderment and confusion on her part about why things did not stop when she tried to pull his hair. Or scratch his face.

These actions can be interpreted as sexual passion or mistaken for caresses. If a woman has had a drink, her efforts to dissuade a man can be mistaken and misinterpreted.

it can also lead to a lot of bewilderment and confusion on her part about why things did not stop

Really, gentlemen, it is best not to initiate sex for the first time with a woman who has been drinking. Her reactions may be wrongly understood. A woman who is drunk is unable to consent.

I would think men want sex with a woman who also wants it. There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man asking for her agreement to be sexual with her.

There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man asking for her agreement to be sexual with her.

Knowing that a woman is desiring sex, and has no other worries that might cause her to agree, is very liberating and fulfilling. It is the very best of sexual relationships. And whilst maintenance sex is entered into at times, the type of relationship that includes that is one of love.

An abused woman would not be much fun during sex, she would be passive and uninterested.

Consent, if it is given, keeps things legal. Mutual desire makes for a healthy relationship.