POF : Am I the only one?
I’m a man, but a little man. So I put on my profile that I’m 5′, because I really am. I know this is a big thing for a lot of women. I try to message them and I never get responses. I think I’m okay handsome wise, have had women say that I am. I’ve gotten responses before, though it comes in bulk or not at all for weeks to a month. But I think a lot of these women are in my ‘league’ and they don’t say anything back at all. I can see that they view my profile though. So I try to be witty and funny in my about me section, but I think that may put people off as well. So, now my about me just says let’s chat. I always message women, like hey how are you, or what’s the best part of life, or that I’m small and they’re small too(this is successful more than I thought). Should I have a semi-long about me, saying all the cliche stuff or should I just be witty and make fun of my size? Or just keep it very brief and short? Should I also include that I have two boys, who I have 50% of the time? Thanks for any advice!
By. b00dup
Sometimes it’s not just your height, as an average looking woman I get a lot of messages from men similar to yours « hey how are you…etc » and due to the amount there’s more guys to choose from.
I suggest not to make fun of your height, because I don’t know about other females, that’s a turn off for me, even though I have a good sense of humour. It can sound like your victimising yourself, we want a strong man that can protect us..not really the other way around.
Yes include that you have children, people with children is a turn off for me since I know I’ll never come first, and I Will BE FURIOUS if I wasted my time, petrol and money to meet up with someone who wants to push me into motherhood when I’m not ready yet. I didn’t sign up to become a baby sitter. BUT there are woman who doesn’t mind that you have children already, and would probably have children herself as well.
I personally have no problems with height/shorter guys.
3 thoughts:
1. Unfortunately there are many women who do care about height, even though i think that’s dumb.
2. I hate profiles that don’t say anything about the person, so seeing one that just said let’s chat is definitely not a plus for me. However, i TOTALLY get why maybe you changed yours… online dating is very discouraging. I personally would say don’t make fun of your size…there’s nothing wrong with it! I personally would also say don’t try too hard to be witty, be yourself. If you’re witty and it’s natural, go for it. I personally find the extended length, SUPER witty/try too hard to be witty ones offputting if they don’t seem genuine. It sucks writing about yourself, but having some things about your interests etc is genuinely helpful.
3. Definitely include that kid info!!!! You may get fewer people interested, but it is 100% need to know info. And it is awfully shady when a guy says he doesn’t have kids in the « have kids » question, and then suddenly you find out. It does not come across well about either his love for them, or his trustworthiness. Someone like me, who isn’t going to date someone with little kids, definitely appreciates not getting interested in you, when i see you have them. It isn’t personal. It isn’t the right thing for me. I get the reverse because i have kids, and it’s VERY fair. I have no issues with someone not being interested because of kids. But many people are fine with it- just let them know in your profile:)
Good luck, and be yourself!:) sorry this was long!
Oh my gosh I’m 5’5 and yes women are delusional on height and appearance you have to be at least 6 foot to get any replies or dates if your as short as me mind you not my fault they don’t care. They will ignore you and eventually ghost you and disappear onto the next 100 guys that in there inbox.
Thank you very much for all of your support and advice, I really appreciate it. This is pretty depressing for me, as I thought it was pretty much true. So, I will continue to be nice and patient. Thank you all. I am unsure if I should give up and delete all my dating app profiles or not. I don’t know what to do. Thank you all
My doctor said it best « caveman mentality »…
I had a woman that had « no short men » in her headline. She just moved to my small town area. She’s on POF. Mid 50s. Only 5’5″.
I figured I’d ask for clarification on what she considers « short » since she is shorter than me. I’m 5’8″. I figured, as long as I’m taller than her…then I’m « Tall »
Apparently, nope. Said that she includes her high heels as part of the equation and she said he must be taller than her in heels.
This is pretty much the most shallow statement a woman can make and eliminate out of the running. Sadly, she said she wont’ date out of the area too, so she’s screwed. And she listed herself as a BBW.
So a chubby gal really has no room to be picky if a short guy is willing to look past her chubs.
A lot of women are shallow like that. I prefer tall ones, but I’m open to shorties, among other traits. On my end, I match word-for-word what most of them are looking for, yet I rarely get takers, and even then they put no effort into conversation.