POF : Does anyone else get hate mail because of their preferences?
I typically get at least 1-2 hate messages from women each day, and all of them have to do with my preference in my profile. I estimate about 90% of the hateful messages I get are because I have on my profile that I’m only interested in women with either no kids, or grown up kids. I prefer this for three reasons:
1. Too often I’ve been in relationships where the child’s father interfered too much. Men seem to really hate it when another man is around their kid.
2. Too often I’ve been in relationships where lack of childcare has led to last minute cancellations. The final straw for me is when I worked 36 hours overtime to earn enough money to put a non refundable deposit down on a vacation only to her her cancel the day we were supposed to leave because her child’s father failed to pick her kid up for his visitation because he decided to go out drinking.
3. I already raised my kids. One is in college and the other is in highschool. I’m not about to start again with a someone else’s child. (Yes I have custody and I’m the father).
The other 10% are angry messages because I say that I’m not into typical county boy activities like fishing or mudding or watching Nascar or listening to country music. Unfortunately I live in Ohio where people are into that sort of thing. I’m not judging if that’s your thing, it’s just not my thing.
Anyway what’s the point of sending someone a hateful message? What does it solve? Plenty of times I’ll see a woman’s profile that has her preferences that excludes me, and I don’t get angry. I just figure she’s not the one for me.
By. jedi1josh
Wow, I can’t imagine getting any hate messages from men due to my profile preferences. But I state the positive qualities I want and that I possess. I skip profiles that are negative or demanding. I prefer men without kids or men who have adult kids, but I don’t rule men out based on that alone. Hopefully you don’t also say you don’t like drama and that you’re a funny guy..neither seems to be the case..
I just got a hateful message this afternoon from a man with children asking why I wouldn’t entertain, date, speak with men who have children on dating sites.
it goes both ways.
I have no young children in mine. No one has ever said anything…..not sure why someone would say that other than they are so desperate for perceived attention and they get some kind of kick out of thinking about how they « stuck it to you » on a side note I am a girl and when I reach out people always think I am fake. Yep I am real. Nope don’t want to scam you other than possibly wraping my arms around you and holding you on the couch.
sounds like ignorant people too. well now you know who not to right swipe on.
I had a lady send me hate because I said ‘I didn’t want our first meeting to be me getting to know your funbags’.
Referring to the selfies with the lowcut tops. I ignored her to be the bigger person. Let her tantrum.
Then she messages me later asking why I was looking at her profile.
Almost responded with a serious shocking knowledge drop: how do you expect to find someone when you don’t want anyone looking st your profile? Lol
But didn’t bother just blocked her. Out of site out of mind. Good luck finding a date with that kind of attitude.
And yea I know ‘funbags’ was probably lying not a good word choice but I was on a roll when I wrote my about info. Lol
Might be the way you’re wording it? I too specifically say in my profile that I am not a great match for someone with kids no matter what the age. I also explain it’s not that I don’t like kids it’s just that I chose not to have them and prefer a partner that also chose not to have kids. It limits my matches, sure, but I can’t say I’ve ever had anyone send me hate mail about it.
There is no point. People that do this are miserable and just want to put more of it into the world. If I were you I’d just block them and forget about them.
I say this assuming you are tactful in how you relay it in your profile. I myself put all my dealbreakers in mine to help people weed themselves out before wasting their time messaging. There’s a right and wrong way to do it.
Yes I get hate mail because I find someone attractive and they are not attracted to me. instead of being an adult and either not reply back or replay not interested I got this one he said « wtf do you really think I would be interested in you what in the actual f*** are you.
The people that message you are people that don’t have introspection. They get offended because they think you are rejecting them. They can’t handle rejection.
Don’t mention the things you have written on your profile. Delete that stuff. Use your own discernment when talking to women. If they have children don’t talk to them. If they are into the stuff you mentioned that you don’t like then cut them off.
You get messages!
Is this real?
I don’t think I ever had a woman come out and contact me first unless its a BOT. Not to mention the reasons you put out are perfectly valid and acceptable. Show me a screen shot of this hate mail. I don’t see why this would be made up, but I just dont see this. Its not like women normally contact guys but to see a consistency of women looking at your profile; reading it and then taking the time to send you hate mail… not saying its not possible but… on pof… not likely.
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Granted… I do know guys that do this to women….
On the child thing, I’d just take it out of your profile. unless you were getting messages en mass from desperate single mothers begging you to date them and that was your only way to deter them, feels like it’s just causing more problems than anything else.