POF : Every man I met on POF has major issues..
Hi guys, hope you’re doing well. So yet again, I’ve met what outwardly seemed like a very decent man on POF, only to find out after five months of dating « he is still in love with his ex »… That’s great.
Every time I meet sometime on POF, they turn out to have a major deal breaking issue. The last relationship I had was with a guy I met on POF, we were together four years and even lived together. Turned out he was a porno and sex addict who also had an addiction to sex with prostitutes…
I met one guy who was a heroin addict, one who told me he is on a heavy dose of anti psychotics and now one who’s in love with someone else.
Is it safe to assume literally every man who uses POF has issues? I’m starting to feel like it.. Everyone keeps warning to stop using the app. Has anyone else has this issue with POF? Can you recommend a better dating app?
By. Honda_Grl
I think it’s never “safe to assume every man” anything.
Also after a four year relationship I don’t think you can attribute the issues to having met him on a online site.
That’s pretty much par for the course for dating apps. I mean, if you think about it, dating apps are for those who for some reason don’t already have a partner and fail to find one in person. Basically, more likely to be undesirables.
I’m a male but my experience was exactly what you’re describing. Every woman I met had some major issues or was just a burnout loser. It really sucks.
I left my profile dormant for the longest time until my gf actually read my profile (really rare on POF) and sought me out for our like qualities. I got really lucky but I recognize it’s not likely at all. But I’m sure for women, it’s quite the opposite. I’m sure you have thousands of guys message you every week so I’m not sure if I can really give you advice since I can’t relate.
I wish I could recommend a better dating app. Facebook and friends who might know single people might give you better odds. At least that way, they’re vetted a little.
When I say every woman I chat to is either indifferent, mean or a stuck up snob I get told I am the problem and get downvoted into oblivion, here you are (I have nothing against you, its not personal) saying most men are the problem, and people upvote it, nice to see there’s a shitty double standard here.
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You might just be choosing the wrong guys.
Well I don’t know about major issues…I’m a guy on POF and my biggest issue is I’m a gamer and not very social? As far as a better dating app, they all typically are the same (free ones that is).
Everyone will have issues or baggage it’ll come down to how much you want to deal with.
I’ve got POF women horror stories, looking for social media followers, looking for a free dinner, standing people up and the list goes on I just vett the hell out of them. Some I’ve the same day for lunch and didn’t make a connection.
Some will tell you right away their issues and makes most run, othera will hide it in hoping you’ll accept them for their faults.
Heavy drugs, alcohol and extreme medication, yeah you don’t want to be anywhere around that.
We have a lot of options with online dating so people will ghost, it’s part of the anti-social behaviour that has come with being online all the time.
Just be more open minded dating. I thought women were the problem when one by one they had issues from daddy issues, to peaking in high school, to being unable to even wipe their own ass.
The problem was me.
I feel the same about the women I have met off there, but I don’t assume they all have issues, just like you shouldn’t assume all guys have issues, just maybe get to know them a little better before you make any kind of relationship commitment.
I feel you on this one. I have met crazy guys on POF before.
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I met a guy who told me he worked with recovering addicts and I thought that was very big of him to do, and yes I knew full well most people who work with recovering addicts are recovering addicts themselves or once were addicts. I got all the way to the date and the guy was talking super sluggish and he looked like he was gonna pass out. Found out he was still an addict and I felt terrible for him, but that was my cue to up and leave after one drink. I even paid for the drinks.
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Another guy seemed great and we exchanged numbers and he turned out to be psycho and demanded that I uber to his place when I had never met him before.
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Girls can be like that too but I was never crazy or anything like that. I did have one guy who just wasn’t feeling the date and decided that he would let me out of his car in the middle of traffic at a red light. I thought that was stupid and rude. He could of taken me to the nearest train station so I could get home
Only real life issue I have ever had is that I like womens clothes because I am insecure in a way. Though I have yet to actually wear any girls clothes I one day hope I can fit in some.
Everyone has issues. Those who claim they don’t, are lying. Male or female, we all have them. It’s the amount of issues or crazy that one person is willing to deal with.
Myself, I’ve never been arrested. Never done drugs, and I don’t drink. My problem, is this.
I’m 41, 2 small children and I work a lot. That isn’t for everyone. It makes my success rate online very very low. I don’t have time to go out and date. So, I am not here to bash the online dating thing. It’s 2018, and we shouldn’t be surprised about anything, right?
Well after reading this I now feel less insecure about my own problems.
While lurking and reading this thread I decided to sign up as I deleted my account today because I feel I need fix my own issues.
First off, my profile would have nice smiling pics. Good quality like you see on Tinder. Nice clothes that represent how I dress. No mirror selfies. Women always say I look dapper. So we have that. Then my profile is a few of my interests that hint at my personality (Roman history, politics, classic lit, fitness, how I love beaches). So I keep it pretty simple.
I find the responses I get range from nasty replies, indifferent, accused of fake pics, or chat that goes well until a meetup is scheduled and then they flake. I look at their profile again and they have completely changed the bio as if they have multiple personalities.
When I do meet up with women it 90% of the time goes well and usually ends up with sex first night. Then the true colors come out. Majority will mention they are separated and just wanted a one night stand. Some are married and want a discreet affair (but was at a restaurant with me night before?). I have encountered ones who want an instant relationship. When I say I’m cool to just see you right now and see where it goes they run to their « friends » who convince her I’m using her. No, I just don’t want to be attached to someone I don’t know very well.
Most women are and I assume men probably lie about their job. Have run across that a lot or else their job is being a mom. Lol. (It may be a full time responsibility but isn’t a job)
I really, really like to compare the age to how their longest relationship. 35 and under 1 year… Fishy. 30 and 8 year relationship. She doesn’t know how to date like an adult. Choose your battles and know what baggage you can carry and what you can’t. If they list they have special needs children I don’t even message because I know that’s something I don’t want to handle.
Women are just as bad as the men. POF is just a tool for boredom while they sit and wait for Mr Perfect with everything to all of sudden be on a free dating app.
As I said I’m working on myself and dating is the last thing I want right now but it sucks not having anyone to talk to. Maybe Reddit will be good for me.
I can deal with all that except when there’s another woman in the picture. It’s mindblowing how lovable a guy can be no matter what his problems are, through all the mental and legal issues, but as soon there’s another person in the picture, all my love for him instantly dies. He becomes dead to me. I couldn’t care less if he were to live or die, and I’ll be happy at his misfortune. Funny how the mind works like that.
I hate to break it to you but it might be your picker that’s broken. I’ve met men online, at work, and through friends and they all had serious issues too.
Also I think a lot of people are using this as a hook up spot so the only ones looking for more are the ones who can’t get one otherwise
If you could send me some nudes I would be happy to reply….JK I work in CPU security and my experience and my age (50) tell me that a huge percentage of the female accounts are outright fake. The quality does seem to improve when you move to pay sites but all the algorithm matching stuff is total BS. Personally, the only success I had was on Match.com but I am not good looking and very strange. Lol Best of luck to you.
At least you meet people on their I haven’t met anyone maybe because I’m black maybe because no one thinks I have a educated plan for my future lol I think your lucky for at least meeting people but again all men want is cat so y’all be winning a lot I think you should ask better questions to make sure your not wasting your time
You know, online dating is like everything else. Once the masses find out about it, you get all the trash and it’s like a swap meet. There was actually a study I read about that online dating for real solid relationship was effective 8-10 years ago when people who first catching on to it. The theory now is, the best time to get on an online dating site is when it’s new and the user base hasn’t filtered out to every loser that can sign up.
Maybe you’re just attracted to men with issues? There are a plethora of normal guys who have nothing like that but you deem them to be « boring »
Sounds about my luck. Most of the men I have met on POF are married and are looking for something » different ». It seems like everyone is looking for a « relationship » but doesn’t seem to want to put the work into said relationship. Everyone wants a relationship but there are so many options that they don’t really take the time to get to know someone. Then complain they can’t find anyone. Can you honestly say you’re making an effort to get to know someone if you’re talking to ten different people at a time?
nope these men are everywhere.
bumble- introverted to death, wants relationship but doesnt want relationship
tinder- gym rats that dont understand no, or short guys who dont want short women (i still dont get that)
hinge- guys with children with commitment issues
okc- pen pals and likes to chill cooler than the lakes on titan
all apps, containing ghosts, distant men, gym rats (those who thought packing on muscle would get vagina packed on dick, but failed to heal mentally), confused little men, angry, unhealthy goals, and narcissistic men.
Maybe you are overestimating your own value.