POF : Have you ever caught a cheater on POF?
It was September 2018 – the final time I used POF. I was at work on my phone in the breakroom on Instagram. I found an interesting, but shocking find in a post. It was a girl, who is in her mid 20’s who I met on POF a few months prior. Also in the photo was her boyfriend celebrating her 4 year anniversary. Although, we live 5 hours apart It didn’t stop me from commenting and saying something about being on POF and in a relationship at the same time was dishonest. She blocked me.
I did manage to send her a nice long lecture on Facebook about POF being a site for those who are single and looking for their match, and not for those to lead others on and screw around with their relationships. She again blocked me. I felt good getting the final word in.
Did I take this too far by calling this young woman out on what she did?
By. nepeannow
I once had someone chat to me who eventually said he was married but it’s complicated. I asked how it was complicated. He said he and his wife hadn’t had sex in ages and things were stale. I said to him that’s not complicated, that’s inconvenient for you. Your wife is unaware you’re chatting women up behind her back.
I said I was that wife once whose husband was on dating sites (different reasons but still wrong) and I have no sympathy. Either work it out or get divorced, just don’t cheat on your wife. I was livid. Never heard back from him.
If she was hiding the fact that she had a boyfriend, then I get it – that’s an important piece of information that the people she meets on POF should know. If she’s honest about having a boyfriend, then you might be gatekeeping – not everyone needs to be looking for ‘the one’ to be on POF.
And no, I’ve never caught a cheater, but I chatted for a while with a married man in an open relationship.
Yes I actually have twice. First time was back in 2011. I remember talking to a guy who I did not meet on the dating sites, he wasn’t a guy I had a date with or anything, just someone that I met. He was telling me all about his wife (Well she was his gf but they were having a kid so he called her his wife because they were engaged) and I thought it was so sweet. Then about a month later I was on POF going through the meet me section, and I came across a profile where I had to click on the photo to see the actual profile because the guy was really tiny in the photo. I click on the photo and it is him the guy that was telling me all about his wife and what not and their kid. I never said a word but any time I seen him in public he could not look me in the face. Not sure if the whole thing about his wife or having a kid was true but man did he look stupid.
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Another time was an ex of mine. We had dated for a handful of months and one day I noticed he was really distant and off. Something didn’t seem right at all and my gut was telling me something wasn’t right. Now this was back when POF let you search their site without having to have a profile. So I decided to check and I looked up his age range and guys not far from me, he lived maybe 10min north of me. It brings up a list of guys and as I scroll through I see a familiar face, and it was him. I clicked on the profile as it said online today and nothing was filled out but still it was there and he was active. I was so entirely hurt by all that. Confronted him about it and he denied it entirely avaoided me for about 1.5 weeks until he admitted it was his and he had others. We tried to fix it but I ended it.
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Honestly though I would of stayed out of it. You met her a few months ago on POF and yes what she did was wrong but you were not actually in a relationship with her and it was not really your place to do that. POF back in the day was not only for single people. Now it is but back then it wasnt. My ex started seeing someone literally 1.5 months after we ended things, like he was in a relationship with this girl and months later while I was on the dating sites I saw him on there while he was supposively still with her, and I kept that shit to myself I wasn’t getting involved in that. I figured let her find out for herself
It’s almost a year later, and I’m still a little bit livid. Not because I was rejected, but it’s really hard to respect someone who goes behind their boyfriend’s back and fools around on POF and then goes out on their 4 year anniversary as if nothing happened…
Nah, women don’t get called out often enough on pof for crappy behavior.