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POF : I’m (23F) not sure if boyfriend (22M) is cheating

POF : I’m (23F) not sure if boyfriend (22M) is cheating


For reference, boyfriend and I have been dating 7 months. We met through another online dating app and we both deleted it in front of eachother when we became official.

When we were looking at his phone together, there was an email saying he had a new match from PlentyofFish. I have never used that site before but I thought it was weird he got an email saying he had a new match if he actually deleted his account. I asked him about it and he said he had his account « hidden » but not deleted. I told him to log in and delete it in front of me and he did.

I then saw his email inbox had messages that consisted of « ___wants to meet you » and « you have new matches waiting for you » stemming from October. Does that mean he started using it in October?

Does that mean he has been actively using that site? From my understanding, when you hide a profile other users cant find you but you can intiate contact right?

When I confronted him he said he hasn’t used the site since April when we started dating and that he hasn’t been browsing. I asked him if he loved me and wanted to be with me and he said yes. I told him if he wants to be single and continue browsing dating sites he can and he got upset. I was upset at him the whole day and I just couldn’t bear the thought of him cheating. He said he didn’t like to be accused of something he didn’t do and is maintaining his innocence.

I don’t know what to think. I have used apps like Tinder and the notifications stopped when I stopped using it. I am hurting. I want someone to be with me because they genuinely want me and I don’t want to have to deal with the insecurity or fear of them browsing for something new and better. I didn’t want to date until after I was done with college but I had a ton of male interest. Now all my relationships have been from online dating and I am wondering if this is the norm for online dating.


By. serenityandlove

What do you think?

One Comment

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  1. I deleted my app, no time for it and I still get updates, if it is hidden and POF still will send you emails, because they want to make money off of you.

    If he was really cheating on you, you:

    1) wont be asking these questions on Reddit
    2) you would have picked up on when he was avoiding you.
    3) he would have his phone on lockdown, so you can’t see other girls.
    4) he won’t have in a relationship on his Facebook, it would be single or blank so if other potential girls came around he could look like he was single
    5) won’t post you on his Instagram,snaps,Facebook or twitter. Because anything that make you exist in his world would drive away any potential hook ups.
    6) he would lie about where he’s at,
    7) deny any feelings or define how he feels, be almost dodgy about it.
    8) won’t want you to meet any of your friends or family and vice versa
    9) being out later or flaking out on your for “other” plans.
    10) spending less time with you, also sex goes down from 5 nights a week to once or twice or if it’s less than that to begin with it might be once or twice a month. Just some signs.

    I doubt he is cheating on you, chances are It was an old app he forgot he was even using and the updates went to the junk pile. One of my good friends was on bumble and he even said in the description do not swipe right found someone. But because he was still on and deleted the app, the profile was still active, I mentioned it to him and shortly after the account was deleted. Just breathe and relax, if he wanted to cheat, do you think you would have made it this far with him?

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POF : Where is the “get to know you” option? New to the site and actually found someone that wasn’t a bot, messaged back and forth for a while and said our talk you laters. Then I got the notification of “wants to get to know you”. Just curious where this option is

POF : can people unmatch you