POF : I’ve only messaged women without children the whole time I have been using the site.
For people who don’t care if a woman has kids, do you find a different reply rate?, Starting to wonder if at my age the only women left without children are the ones nobody wants children with.
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I’m going to get some hatred for this but fuck it, it would explain the lack of responses, they have expectations through the roof and don’t settle for anything less than perfection.
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In before people say « well if that’s how you talk on reddit no wonder you have no luck »
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Yeah, because the first thing I do on a dating site is insult the women I try to court, possibly the worst theory ever.
By. Serveradman
how old are you?
what are their profiles saying?
im 37/f the only guys who message me that i ignore are the ones that dont read my profile. I am looking for a specific type of guy and if youre not it, im not replying. I even put that in my profile so he knows. I still look at his profile to see if hes interesting nonetheless, but overall i end up deleting the convo.
The funny thing about it, the type of guy im looking for is based off of his hobbies not his looks, so if you think im asking for a 6ft5 lumberjacksexual with a 6 figure job and gorgeous hair, youre wrong.
i would steer clear of womens profiles that say shit like im looking for a man that take cares of his woman, is caring, sensitive, got his shit together. to me thats a « no shit charlotte » situation. I think they leave it so basic cause they dont know what they want. now if shes like, im looking for a guy with a basic understanding of plumbing and construction, but also has the gentle touch of a seamstress, here you have someone that knows what she wants.
Not to sound like a jerk… But I’m really intrigued to see your profile on POF…
I used to be the girl who didn’t want to date a guy with kids, but as I got older I did not see an issue with it at all.
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Once I was talking to a guy for a few hrs and we agreed that night to meet and in the middle of the date it was going so well that he decided he was comfortable enough to show me and tell me he had a kid. The only thing was he wasn’t really honest about how he became a father. I mean it was his kid but I was told it was from an ex girlfriend. Found out later on it was from an ex wife, still not a problem but it should of been addressed before moving forward
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I don’t mind single moms but I’m older and most of them are younger. They don’t match me with younger ladies.
>I’m going to get some hatred for this but fuck it, it would explain the lack of responses, they have expectations through the roof and don’t settle for anything less than perfection.
Red Flag #1 She’s on the Internet looking for dates.
My problems were I was always meeting girls without jobs, living at home with their moms looking for men who would want to take care of them. The sense of entitlement was astounding. You start to feel like maybe they should be looking on sugardaddy.com or something instead. All of them lied about having a job in they’re profile too. One said she was a « masseuse » the other a make-up artist. Come to find out those were things they used to do but can’t be bothered to anymore. Now they just sit at home all day mooching off their parents. Talk about bait and switch. All had like a list of shit they needed me to do for them right away. One of them wanted me to get her car fixed. Oh yeah, I can’t wait to do that, lady I just met 2 dates ago. I’m still facebook friends with her and she’s still baffled why she can’t get a guy to stick around.
I wouldnt say better reply rate, I find they’re likely to be online more often but then are easily distracted by whatever juniors doing or the day to day chores surrounding having kids. So sketchy reply rates, they’ll often get back to you eventually but something will often come up concerning the kids so actual dates are unlikely to materialise. It absolutely isnt what those autistic sounding pretend Alpha online dating tip websites claim, where they want bankrolling or some such similar bullshit. An Alpha male wouldnt bother making nerdy little spreadsheets about tricking drunk coeds into having sex with them based on a carefully constructed profile featuring photos they’ve paid another loser to take.
I’ve hooked up with tons of girls from pof/tinder/okcupid etc…
The girls who have it most together, good job, responsible, clean, etc DO NOT have kids.
All the horrible dates, horor stories, weirdness, bad vibes, danger, drama has all been from single moms.
Now, this is only my personal experience, so it may not apply to you.
The girls with kids on POF are usually a complete mess, and from my experiences I avoid them now.
Last time I met a single mom on POF, she tried to move into my house with her kid after talking to me for like 2-3 days.
Now most of the girls I meet are age 20-30.. I would assume that some of the moms closer to late 30’s-40’s will be a bit more stable. As I have dated older women with kids, most seemed more stable, however I never met the older girls on POF, but rather in person so that might skew the picture as well.
Tldr: Avoid the young single moms, the ones you will find on POF are usually desperate, and are looking for a man to save them from their teen Mom lifestyle.
Well, for starters, what is your « rate of reply » so we can compare. I get one reply out of every 10 or so women I message. That being said, I write women messages akin to the size of this reply. I’m not the normal message sender, and I only reply to people with filled in profiles that actually interest me and write them concerning topics in their profile. Second, I’m biased. For me I could care less about a woman having a child. I’m a Dad, it would be hypocritical to say the least to ask her to not come to the relationship on equal footing. Plus hey, at least women with children usually come with the added insanity that is the state’s idea of child support, which is basically another full paycheck to the household. As you can tell, I’m a bit jaded but hey, I don’t have to pay it out myself. I only had to give my exwife a $60,000 advantage in our divorce to not pay it. And I’m even saving money in the long run lol.
That all being said, I get not wanting to date a woman with a kid if you don’t want one yourself. But, if thats the case why the heck are you pursuing a relationship if you do not eventually want a family? If you just want sex, its honestly cheaper to pay escorts than manage a household. Note, I do not support this, I’m just saying it honestly is. If you want companionship, there are plenty of women who would love to be just friends on the occasional date and never commit to anything more. Your going to have much better luck going to a singles event in your area. They are in every city. In other words, I fundamently just don’t get the appeal of wanting a relationship without the endgoal of getting a family unless…. your going for the superficial goal of wanting someone who « doesn’t come with baggage ». In which case, look in a mirror my friend. You even spelled it out: your own expectations are equally through the roof and you won’t settle for less than a specific archetype. Now, there is the third option. You just can’t stand kids but want a long term companion that is always there. In which case I say. Get a dog. Cheaper, doesn’t judge your every move or divorce you to remarry a guy you suspected she was cheating with 2 weeks after the divorce goes through.
Also, keep in mind that women in this site are bombarded with messages. For every message you send out, imagine getting 20 in your inbox all saying « hey baby ». She might not even check her messages until your message is on page three of « hey baby » messages she has to filter through. Sometimes, your voice, even if it would be pleasing, just gets lost in the crowd because your not shouting successfully over it. Suffice to say, if I women will not take the time to read and respond to you, chances are, she is not right for you. Don’t worry about getting multiple replies. It only takes one response to change your life. Edit: I don’t dislike you, nor am I throwing shade. I’m just befuddled at the percieved double standard because I have seen you to be a pretty chill and cool guy when I see you post on other topics in the sub.