POF : Letting him down gently
I met someone on Sunday for lunch. First meet. We had a meal and he was very much a gentleman. He wouldn’t let me go half on the meal although I offered. He was very tactile, holding hands etc which I felt a little uncomfortable with but he was very nice. But I didn’t feel that connection or spark. He really is keen, keeps texting about meeting up again.
I don’t want to hurt him but I need to tell him it’s not going to happen but nicely. What can I say?
By. KazzyJJ
Thanks for taking the time to meet me on Sunday and for a really nice lunch. After some time to think about things I don’t think this is a good fit for me. You’re a gentleman and you’ll definitely find what you’re looking for out there. Take care.
Do not respond to any further messages.
You don’t really need to explain yourself; just don’t lead him on any further and let him figure it out. If you start giving explanations it just invites further interaction or heaven forbid thirsty beta behavior.
Just curious but what would’ve created this “spark” for you? Not being a gentleman?
He just wasn’t for me. Him being a gentleman or not is irrelevant. I just didn’t click with him. It happens. I felt his personality wasn’t in tune with mine, I felt myself struggling for things to say (this hasn’t happened with many people, where the conversation has flowed throughout), I just didn’t feel attracted to him at all.
He’s been a bit full on with calls and texts which I’ve been polite in answering but I felt myself almost bored at the meeting and anxious to leave. I’m surprised he didn’t pick up on that.
I’ve tried to stay polite and given short replies but he’s not picked up the hint so I’ve had to go with the message above which is sent now.
Same thing happened to me in reverse earlier this year when I met someone I really clicked with and he was the one that suggested meeting again, but I suddenly got a text saying he wasn’t feeling that special connection but would like to stay friends, which we have done on text/Facebook. I was gutted but it’s futile being with someone if the attraction isn’t both ways.
Thanks everyone xxx
Just tell him you aren’t feeling a connection and that he needs to move on, don’t make up excuses or try to soften the blow, that will cause more damage than outright ghosting as he tries to figure out where he went wrong
I dont get stuff like this… Why is it all or nothing? If he was nice you might have found a new friend, if he was a twat why do you care about upsetting him by cutting him off?
Do you honestly think that you won’t create sparks with him? Maybe give the guy a chance, he sounds nice and you allowed him to hold your hand, if I’m not into a woman I would have not hold hands and cut the date fast.
If you have potential with someone else then just say hey thanks but I hope you find that one for you, was great but I didn’t see a connection, but if you don’t then don’t be so quick to push him away.
Just be honest and tell him you are a serial dater who just uses POF for attention. You always are going on « meet and greets » but don’t feel that connection or spark lol.
Tell him no
Just tell him he didn’t smell right. Which led to there being no spark.