POF : Online Dating Has Gotten So Much Worse
I just want to say that I am single again and getting back into the game after about 13yrs of relationships and wow, things have gotten so much worse especially on POF. I met my last two girlfriends on POF. The first relationship lasted 9yrs and my last one just ended after 4yrs. Both times I was on POF less than 2 months.
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I’ve been back on POF almost a month and it is nothing like it used to be. I am in the Tampa area, a reasonably attractive guy, very successful financially, have a lot to offer the right woman, work out almost daily, have a very detailed intro message that I send to all of the profiles that interested me, yet I am having absolutely no luck. I’ve probably sent 200 messages in the last 30 days and gotten maybe 3 replies from real women; none led to even a date. The rest were all scammers or bots. If you sort by newest users you can literally see the bots being created; I counted about 10 bots to every 1 female and the « female » was probably a scammer.
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Speaking of scammers I have already had a run in with two of those. I never give out my real number, I have an app that lets me pick a random phone number and I can use it for txting for free; so POF is so bad that I use that first and if the texting ever progresses and I can verify it is a real person I will give them my real number.
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It seems all of the women have went to Tinder which I despise because I am looking for a real relationship leading to marriage and on Match all I see is the exact same women I saw on POF. Except I paid for Match so it’s even more bittersweet to know I paid to see the same women on both sites. So yea, I’m thinking its going to take a lot longer than 2 months this time.
By. TampaGuy2019
Yep same experience for me. Hundreds and maybe 3 replies and no dates. I got so sick of the fake accounts I gave up. I was getting inbox messages from the scammer and bots. Just a huge waste of time to deal with it.
I don’t really get it anymore. Just seems hopeless.
Your complaints are valid. Times are changing and so too the tightening of eligibility criteria in profiles. As you aware your profile is going to need to be extra exceptional and flawless, enough to grab their attention. Seems if you do manage to meet someone quickly or you have been placed on standby as an interim measure, you will need to show you are not morally defunct in anyway but superior model equipment. This means hiding weaknesses very carefully as exposure of even trivial weakness can be extremely off putting. After standby there can be a probationary period. But afterwards when things get settled within the relationship, can almost definitely arrive a time when they simply get used to you and eventually get bored because it’s turned into a normal relationship. It seems they tend to reflect back on when they were getting multiple attention and crave for new exciting attention and adventure. Because people nowadays are so easily disposable and easily replaced at the will of their fingertips with so much selection to choose from there shouldn’t be a problem replacing you with someone else different. So she will find a way to evaporate and the whole process starts again for the both of you.
Yeah these were my thoughts exactly. Except I’m a female [27] and received many messages to which I respond even if I’m not interested and kindly complement them adding that you’re just not what I’m looking for but I hope you find your girl! They would still say disgusting crap like « but would you still f***? »
I have been against online dating for a while but adult life gets in the way of the chance of meeting new people in person. I gave it a chance and am on the verge of uninstalling. You may have seen the outcome of my first and previous date posted earlier today. I am looking for a proper relationship and the ones that gained my interest claimed to be looking for the same yet I’m left dealing with ghosting (AT THE AGE OF 27!!?) I’ve never been ghosted before. Also dealing with stupid sexual remarks that lead nowhere..
I hear so many guys complaining (including the ones I met) that they’re are no nice girls and they’re fake profiles and don’t respond. Well here I was, a real profile, real pictures no edits, raw honesty and also replied to 85% of them. Yet I somehow seemed to get screwed over after our first date anyway. This date last an entire day from brunch to evening, consisted of banter, kisses and even plans he made for next meet up. He ghosted me later that night mid convo for no apparent reason.
What a joke..
Women have the pick of the litter. They get sent thousands of messages a day and dont have to be polite or care. Its given them a very entitled and out right boorish attitude. Unless you’re a millionaire or can open with the funniest pick up line at the start good luck. My luck on PoF has been nothing but poor asf women who dont even have a car and want me to drive hours to meet them. Im not looking to be someone’s babysitter and driver. I quit PoF after encountering three of these women in a row
It’s trash I deleted after wasting time with scammers that want money.it kills confidence. I just need to go meet people in real life-that’s the hard part
I’m not sure it’s gotten worse. You sound like me. I’m ok looking (like a 7 and I don’t think I’m being too generous). I’m educated, have good job, and I know how to talk to people.
I think the problem is we’ve gotten older. The pool of singles is smaller since we’re older. Women like to date older men, but only within a couple years. If you move the age gap beyond 5 or so years, you have to be highly successful or highly attractive to actually date a much younger woman. There are some women that only date much older men, but it’s not as common as I thought when I was younger.
Most people have moved to Tinder too. I gave Tinder a shot for two months. I got matches but most were far away (over an hour drive away). The women I matched locally I felt were below my league and I only swiped right on them because I started to get desperate.
I realized Tinder is more about how good you look than POF. Tinder swipes are based almost entirely on looks. On POF, people are more likely read profiles. If you’re only a little above average looking like me, but you make up for it in other areas, you’re never even going to get your foot in the door on Tinder to have a chance.
Then there’s the whole ratio issue but that’s been discussed to death.