POF : STOP Listing Your Body Type As “A Few Extra Pounds” or “Curvy” When You Are Morbidly Obese
This is perhaps one of the most irritating things about online dating, and it’s not only on POF that it happens.
Listen folks, if lying to yourself about your body type makes you feel better when you look in the mirror, that’s your prerogative. That being said, misleading aka LYING to a potential mate/partner about your appearance is NEVER acceptable.
If you have any intention of meeting that person, in that moment everything you’ve been working toward will be dashed to pieces because if you’ll lie about your body type, what else will you lie about? It shows poor character.
While we’re on the topic, if every profile photo you’ve uploaded has been touched up or filters applied with an app like Snapchat, you are being deceptive. Stop saying you want ‘a real man’ or ‘a real woman’ when you aren’t being real with everyone else.
Have a little integrity.
By. N3TD3ViL
As a land whale, I dont often find that option listed. I’m resigned to choose BBW, and in my blurb I generally advise of my gargantuan size.
I also include pictures showing everything that orbits me because I have my own gravitational pull.
I always assume anyone who selects anything other than average or athletic to have the possibility of being obese, more so if there are only neck up photos in their profiles.
I’m a big ole fat girl and when I was actively looking, not only did I have recent unfiltered full body photos, I also stated it, very very very clearly in my profile. I would prefer to select “fat” rather than “BBW” as a body type but it’s not an option. Guys who had a problem with my weight and height (I’m fat and tall) it didn’t contact me. It wasn’t a problem though, I met lots of folks, including the lovely man I’m seeing now (and yes we met on POF).
I was always very open and honest but I know that not everyone is. Some folks lie about their age or height or marital status. These are all things that will come out eventually so why not just be honest in the first place.
I hated bbw as an option. I would rather pick overweight/fat/obese but they didn’t exist when I was on pof, but these are correct terms I would be fine to use. Even though I am fat, doesn’t mean I want to be and might be on a journey to be normal but in the meantime I hated big beautiful woman as I hated the fact it glamourised what I saw as unhealthy. I was never proud of the weight, but still was a confident person in my own skin. I would rather just state the truth but there wasn’t one I wanted to use. Additionally I did used to put at least two photos showing my whole body as I don’t want to waste anyone’s time or expectations.
Throw average in there to pls.
This is true, and, when i put on spanks and a girdle and jump in a centrifuge to pull back my face wrinkles to take a selfie, i think of all the dishonest creeps out there…
I think if the choose « few extra pounds » and, they are obviously fat in the pictures, that is not exactly lying. Its a big step to go all the way for the « big and tall/ BBW » selection.
FYI: i actually had to look it up to find out that option existed as i NEVER see anyone pick it, even if they openly admit to fatness in their profile description. I forgot it existed.
« few extra pounds » pretty much is admitting to being fat. Its a tough commitment to choose an option that might as well say « too heavy to ever deserve love ».
Dating sites are brutal on self esteem as it is, and, i can have a little forgiveness for slight truth bending…the operative word « slight »
Selecting a body type option one level below actual is fine, but, it should probably be a good rule of thumb to have pics that are less than five years old and at least one that is a year or less old.
Is there even a morbidly obese category?
With exception of when I gained 25 pounds from the Prednisone (which I lost when I weaned myself off of it), I haven’t gained any weight since I was diagnosed and treated for hypothyroidism more than 25 years ago.
For four months last year I diligently counted calories (1,200 a day) and exercised daily. The result: I lost 3 pounds over those four months. Very stressful and discouraging to say the least.
Again, I applaud your success in losing weight but you give me the impression that you think I am ignorant or lazy which just isn’t the case. My body is NOT like yours. I wish it hadn’t taken more than five years to diagnose the hypothyroidism but I don’t have a time machine. I trusted the doctors and the tests, plus I was already in a deep depression at the time.
You really don’t need to respond back and tell me it is science again.
The thing is, the media says morbidly obese women are « curvy ».
If a man is fat he is morbidly obese. And told to diet. Women are praised for the same amount of fat cells.
So can you blame women? All their lives they are told they are curvy and to be proud of it, with stuff like this:
https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/october-2018-main-print-1536157852.jpg
Now contrast that to
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0f/19/c4/0f19c47c225d105c4b56f0dfb35de0cd.jpg
Notice the tagline is « get **back** in shape » and the pic is of a guy with a body that very few guys can ever achieve?
This is the contrast in society. Default body for men is supposed to be ripped, yet walking heart attack risk morbidly obese women are celebrated and not only that but used as **role models** for other women.
For me it is even more hilarious. There is an option that asks « would you date a big&tall / BBW / Extra Pounds » which of course women don’t tick because they don’t want a fat man. But I am 6’8 so I fall under big&tall. Yet women say they want tall men? And then tick the box that doesn’t show them tall men ha ha
I am going to bite back here as someone in the the BBW category.
1. Sites dont have a « obese » option smartarse; pretty sure curvy or large or a few extra pounds are the only options. These are all subjective opinions and everyone would classify them differently, so maybe your issue is with pof forms not people.
2. You dont own someones descriptives about their body, if I as a woman with curves want to use the descriptor of « curvy » I can f&^king well use it.
3. You can see the photo, if you are not interested dont swipe/message etc.
​
​
First of all they don’t list obese on their site as an option, and if it is that much of an issue for you then contact them and ask them if they are heavy set or well over weight. Do you know what is going on on the inside with these people as to why they don’t list it. Being what you call morbidly obese isn’t something that gets people a lot of dates unfortunately and it sucks, because not everyone who is over weight like that is like that by choice. Meds can make you gain a lot of weight and certain illnesses can make you over weight. If the person can’t be honest with you in messages about their weight then ya that is an issue and its lying, but they should not have to list in their profile they are obese if they do not feel comfortable doing so, as long as they tell you that before you agree to meet. I mean I feel for people who are that over weight because like I said you never know if its because of meds or illness or just by choice. So I would not rant about that