POF : The guy that made me give up on POF.
I just had to tell this story because it’s just…WTF.
Matched with a guy that seemed pretty interesting. A tree surgeon a little older than me. Self employed, rescues and rehabs squirrels and other tree critters he finds while working. Had an interesting text convo for a couple of days, I notice he takes forever to reply and that’s a little annoying but hey, he’s a busy working guy, right? So last night we decide to take the convo off of POF chat and exchange phone numbers. Decided to call and actually talk. We talk for about 45 minutes in which he tells me he’s been alone and single for a long time, he’s looking for something exclusive and long term, said « I ain’t no cheating dog » and « I want to find love » yada yada yada. Then he says he’s just gotten home from work and needs a shower, he will call me back afterward. Oh, ok. Fine, no problem.
Except he didn’t hang up the phone. So I muted my mic and kept listening. I hear him going inside someplace, a tv is on. Then a woman’s voice greeting him. He says « Where’s the key? » « Give me a hug, baby. » « Ok, take care, see you later. » More rustling sounds, a door opens and closes, the t.v. is turned off. He starts using voice to text, I get one saying he’s getting in the shower now. And he’s serious about wanting to meet me even though we live 2 hours apart. Then more voice to text. He sends out several, (not to me) saying things like « Tell me more about you » « I’m very interested ». Ok, he’s talking to other women too, nbd…I’m talking to another guy too. Not sure which one I want to meet yet. Buuuut…then he’s sending out more texts. « I’m at Such and Such motel at x location, I’m ready to party and play! » Gives the same phone number but a different name 3 times. 3 different names.
I’d heard enough after about 15 minutes. I sent him a text (with quotes) saying our call had never been disconnected and I’d heard everything. Said I’m gonna pass on the STDs, buh-bye. Took him several minutes to see it, I heard him say « Huh. » and the call was disconnected. Blocked his number immediately.
My POF account is now deleted. I’ll see what happens with the other guy I’m still talking to but I’m not expecting anything other than what I’ve gotten already. Guys that ghost me. Or just want sex. Liars. Scammers. Weirdos. Nothing but disappointment.
By. CatLadyGrip
I’m sorry to hear about that. You dodged a bullet there. Perhaps you can use online dating as just one way of finding a partner. I’ve been on POF on and off for years and was about to give up myself but I’m glad I didn’t because I found an awesome girl and I’m falling for her hard.
[deleted]
Some people are crazy after you exchange a number. I remember talking to a guy on POF once and he seemed cool and we talked off the site. We never met up and a few years later he popped back up and we started talking again and agreed to exchange numbers. After exchanging numbers he calls and we start talking and he gets all huffy and upset for no reason at all. Tries to pick a fight with me over the phone and then say I am the one trying to argue him. He yells at me that I am gonna be alone forever and says I need to UBER to his place. He kept saying that and I said no im not doing that I don’t feel comfortable. Finally he says im gonna go talk to the lady at the bank I am taking her out to lunch. This guy was a legit psycho, and I was scared. I reported him to POF and blocked his phone number and everything else.
I’m pretty sure you would have seen other red flags even if that phone thing never happened. In fact he gave a red flag early on. If a guy has to say that he is not a cheater when you never asked him, he probably is.
Meanwhile men like me looking for a proper monogamous relationship get ignored. I just find that interesting.
I’ve come to believe that if there is anyone worth dating on those sites, they are very few in number. The hunt can be murderous.
Wow. That is weird. How did he not notice he had a phone call? Did he use a burner phone or something since I wouldn’t think talk to text would work during a phone call
I am speechless
run away run away
I’m going to say some bitter truths here. It goes for everyone in these situations.
In life whatever you are looking for you are going to find. If you are constantly attracting bad experiences you need to look at yourself and what you are projecting. Are you choosy with who you communicate with or does everyone get a chance? What do you pictures say about you? What do you look like? How much value do you have to the sexual marketplace?
One of the most powerful tools you have is knowing how people perceive you and then using it to your advantage.
If you have bad luck it’s either you are not picky, or have too much expectation. Maybe you see yourself as more value than you are and that’s why you get treated bad. Life is fast paced and you need to be aware of what’s going on.