POF : What is POF etiquette (or any dating site)regarding dating and breaking hearts?
I’m 42 years old and new to the dating scene after a divorce. I discovered that POF seems to be « where its at ». There’s a ton of locals on there, a million non-locals too so to speak. eHarm, and Match really served up virtually NOTHING for me. This is the conundrum. I hate it when I think it’s going well with someone and I check their profile and see them online still « looking ». It’s heart breaking. If the membership is an upgraded one, you can see last log on time of the individual and the duration of their time online. I understand that can be a positive thing if you are hoping to catch that special someone and not waste your time with a dead profile, but, it’s emotion destroying if you think things are going well with the guy your with. We live in a « keep shopping, keep browsing for the next best thing, world » now and I’m having a hard time figuring out what is appropriate and what is not with online dating. Anyway, this is the advice part I need: I’m with someone from POF, we’ve been on many dates and hit it off great, we’ve had romantic times, chemistry is there, conversation, laughter. We make the most out of our time together; this person is not local to me and travels quite a bit. I only see him once per month, or LESS depending on how the holidays fall. (But yet, you see, I knew this going forward with the relationship) I completely deactivated my account once we hit it off, he didn’t ask me to and I didn’t tell him I did; but his is still up (even though I don’t think he’s actively on it). We seem to be 70% compatible, but I REALLY FEEL the 30% of incapability we have. And I’m « feeling » the distance we have, that, after 5 months of this « long distance thing », I’m wanting to reactivate my account and « browse » some more..The guy I’m with is not very emotional and I wouldn’t know how to even talk to him about this. I do like him though,we talk daily, I just don’t feel that is is the relationship I was looking for when I signed up the first time…UUGH what to do?
By. PeachCake99
Just break up with the guy if you’re not happy with the relationship.
If you are not happy with a relationship for whatever reason, you should consider ending it. Your unhappiness will only get worse over time if you stay in a situation that makes you unhappy.
Also try okcupid for better matching scenarios by way of information. Plentyoffat seems to be too hit or miss on the info provided while okc users appear to have a better chance of providing more meaningful profile info.
Your 42, time to settle down and if you can squeeze out some kids eh? At 42 you dont have as much options as before.
> We live in a « keep shopping, keep browsing for the next best thing, world » now and I’m having a hard time figuring out what is appropriate and what is not with online dating
I’ll tell you what it’s not. It’s not feeling and acting like you’re married when you just start dating someone. Let them shop. If they belong with you then you’ll end up with them in the end. Maybe you should keep shopping too. What if mister more perfect than this guy came along and you’re the only one shutting people out?