POF : Why can’t I get anyone to reply to me?
I’m a decent-looking guy, great shape, employed, I have fun hobbies, I am sociable and love a good time.
I send an introduction to basically every woman I like. I personalize it to their profile. I put effort into it.
Online dating is new to me. Is it normal for %99 of messages to not even get any sort of reply at all? It’s frustrating to put so much time in for no results at all.
By. Raven_skies
Online dating is very difficult for most of us. I tell people for every 100 messages you send out(assuming that they’re positive and not weird), you’ll receive 10 replies and one date.
Can you share an example of something you would send out? Also, what’s on your profile?
When you send out a message and don’t get a response, do you keep on sending messages to that person? If so, stop!
I’ve found that it’s best to find something in their profile that you enjoy too and start a conversation around that.
« I see you like Star Wars. What did you think of the recent episode of The Mandalorian? »
« I see you enjoy scuba diving. I’m a master scuba diver and I am definitely looking for someone to dive with. I like going to…where are some of your favorite places? »
If she doesn’t have anything on her profile that stands out, just skip her. It sounded like that woman didn’t have much on her profile. Life is wonderful?
I guess you could have talked about how life is wonderful for you and asked her what she finds wonderful about life. I don’t think there’s any reason to say anything about your « positive self ». If you’re talking about how your life is wonderful, she should get a sense that you’re a positive person.
Don’t need to mention anything like Covid. Too many people(including women) mention Covid. Everyone knows we’re dealing with Covid. That’s a negative.
Like I mentioned, it seemed like the woman had a vague profile where she may have mentioned « Life is wonderful » and had a few cute photos. When you have to ask « What are your interests? » or « What do you like to do for fun? » that’s a skippable profile. You should have already had your personal interests on your profile. No need to list them in a message.
The last part where you say something like « I hope we can chat. No pressure. Just a friendly chat. » That’s a definite « No ». There’s no reason for you to add something like that. It screams that you are going to get psycho on her. Even if you were just trying to be reassuring that you’re not one of « those guys » it sounds like you are.
« Hey, get in my car and I’ll give you a lift home. Don’t be afraid. I’m just a nice guy who wants to give you a lift home. »
One woman I talked to a bit said they got so many messages every day she would have to dig to find mine. Out of maybe 500 messages I sent out about 300 bots responded, 3 real responded, 0 dates. The rest were either read, read deleted, unread deleted or never read
Girls online are extremely picky and that’s even if their fat asses, girls online have poor attention spans, girls online are tough. I get probably 1 response out of every 200 messages. Not to mention its flooded with bots and scammers.
Extremely tough site. Better off just approaching a girl at work or school. Hell, even approaching a girl at bars is better.
Also there are aps like Snapchat that are killing our chances as well. Most girls just rather talk to you on Snapchat and not meet randomly on POF. I think it would be easier about 20 years ago when aps like Snapchat didn’t exist.
Consider that every « online dating » platform has a different type of people with different goals.
I never ever advise anyone to give well thought out messages unique to the person. The most I would say is at least read their profile incase they say something like » tell me something your fav number to prove you read it, otherwise, i wont respond »
The most I personally use to say was « hey there » …. i never invest so much time reading deep into their profile unless they view and respond.