The different phases of the breakup
When you break up, you go through a whole bunch of different emotions: sadness, anger, indifference (and even sometimes joy). Decryption of the stages of mourning in love:
First phase of the rupture: the devastating announcement
Your partner has just announced that he is leaving you. Like a stab, this decision is all the more difficult to accept when it is not preceded by any warning sign. It is the state of shock. You are devastated, devastated, destroyed. You probably feel like you will never be able to get up from the intense suffering that overwhelms you today. The news was delivered with such brutality that it almost seems unreal to you. Am I having a nightmare? Will I finally wake up? This type of reaction is completely normal. Your body reacts by secreting many hormones that will help alleviate your suffering by plunging you into a kind of anesthetic cocoon.
Second phase of the rupture: weaning
Several days have passed since your ex left. Now is the time to relearn how to live without him, to forget his presence by your side. It is the stage of all the first times « without him » or « without her ». Your brain and your body must wean themselves off from each other, that is to say, break this emotional and physical dependence created by living together. This process is a bit like that of drug withdrawal. It is also during this period that many people try to reconnect with their ex, as if to relieve this lack. Others, on the contrary, throw themselves headlong into a new relationship or collect short-lived adventures to fill this emotional gap engendered by the departure of the loved one.
Third phase of the rupture: internalization
Specific to mourning in love, this step consists of accusing yourself of all the evils and blaming yourself entirely for what has just happened to you. Rather than directing your anger towards your ex-partner, you overwhelm yourself with blame and, beyond that, you create an idealized image of your ex-partner who has suddenly become perfect. The breakup you have just suffered has simply dealt a fatal blow to your self-esteem. You no longer want to go out, to see people. You isolate yourself and go over the same things over and over again. You only talk about that and ask your close friends to talk about it for long hours. At this time of your love loss, reliving a new love story seems inconceivable to you.
Fourth phase of the breakup: anger
After annihilation and autoflagellation, it’s time for anger! This inner rage that you feel is proof that you are gradually starting to pick yourself up. You regain your strength and your energy pushes you to be reborn. Expressing resentment and resentment heals your wounds. It is also during this phase that you feel a great need for change. New wardrobe, new hairstyle, new hobbies… You make a clean sweep of the past in order to move forward better. You are in a positive construction phase that requires you to let go of anything that is holding you back. For this, it is essential to accept the reality of what has just happened to you. You have been left, of course, but life does not end there. This speech, you are now ready to hear it, which was not possible a few months ago. It means you are on the road to remission!
Read also:
- How to mourn in love according to a psychiatrist?
- Why do we lose our appetite after a break-up?
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