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Tinder : Story Time – Week of July 29, 2019

Tinder : Story Time – Week of July 29, 2019


Feel free to use this thread to discuss all of your Tinder dates from the past week.


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Read also  Tinder : Every. Single. Time.

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  1. So I met this guy at beginning of the month right when I was ready to delete my Tinder profile. I told him I wasn’t looking to date and just wanted friends if anything, and he said it’s a good thing I found him because he was in the same situation. Fast forward, we start texting every day for weeks. Our conversations are deep, we literally connect on just about every level, we are so alike it baffles me. Even our differences were something that worked because it just made it all the more exciting. I felt like I had finally found the right guy for me. Throughout these weeks he’d joke about being in love with me, marrying me in the future, talk about how much he missed me and just wanted to talk to me. We’d talk on the phone every other night, and text all day. But he would emphasize how he wanted to take things really slow and see where it goes, because he wanted to make sure we were right for each other. Anyway, this weekend he ended up doing ecstasy for the first time with his friends and that night he texted me saying it was a mind-opening experience and he couldn’t wait to talk to me and he missed me a lot. I told him I was glad it was a good experience and that I also missed him. He didn’t reply for a day, which was odd and gave me an uneasy feeling. A day later he calls me and says he realized all his priorities and things in his life were wrong and he needed to focus on his business taking off so we couldn’t be together because he couldn’t give me the time I needed to foster a relationship and he also kind of didn’t see us being compatible long term. I was hurt because his attitude towards me changed from one day to the next. I told him I understood and if he didn’t mind if we could just be friends as he was a great guy, and to know that I understood there would never be anything between us. He responded by saying we could be friends he just wouldn’t be available very much to talk or hang out, but I could text him. He also said he never said there wouldn’t never be anything between us, who knows maybe in the future once he wasn’t so busy if we hung out and saw how things went. This confused me a bit but I’m obviously going to just overlook it because I don’t need to believe there’s any hope. I truly thought this was the perfect guy for me so I really want to let the thought of us go so it doesn’t hurt.

    But anyway everyone, my question is, when should I text him? He said he cares about me and doesn’t mind at all if I text him for anything, it’s not a bother or anything to him. But me on the other hand, feels like I’m a bother. I really do want to just be friends with this guy, so how do I know how often or when to text him? He said if I really cared about him or how his day went to just text him, but I also don’t want him thinking I’m hung up on him. I know I’m overthinking this so can someone please just tell me how it is?

  2. Went on the first date I had been on in a while. We had a really good conversation and seemed to get along really well, the night ended with some kissing and then we parted ways talking about the next date. I then get a text a couple days later saying she enjoyed our talk but that she didn’t see me romantically. I am in pretty good shape though a bit balding and I was dressed up pretty well, so I don’t think I am terrible in that way. My face is a bit odd (super pale eyebrows and a bigger nose) but I think I am not awful. I think I might just have not been aggressive or masculine enough for her (she is big into Jordan Peterson, not saying all girls think that way) and if so that is alright, as I can’t ever see myself becoming like that. I wish her the best but I am still sad, I haven’t had such a great night with someone in a while. Welp, on to the next attempt.

  3. Meeting up with a girl tomorrow for our second date. I think I really like her. We hit it off instantly on the first date and have had great conversation every day since. We click in all the right ways, we have a ridiculous amount in common. We keep saying things like “oh I’ll tell you that story at dinner this week” and she’s bringing me some of her favorite food that I’ve never tried (she offered without me asking lol) cause we discussed that. I mean all signs point towards this thing continuing and I feel pretty confident about it.

    Should I bring up the what are you looking for in this “talk”? I feel like we both really like each other, the past few days she’s texted me first thing in the morning and we’ve just gone from there. I’m gonna try to make a move besides this, just trying to kiss, etc.

  4. A few days ago I had my first tinder date.

    I was stoked, but we only had an hour to meet, so we decided to meet at the river (I live just outside Yosemite National Park).

    When she pulled up, I was floored. She was even hotter than her pictures, and we instantly were able to talk like we had known each other a while. Super down to earth, and enthusiastic.

    So we are hanging out by the water after a quick swim, having a nuce convo, and two dudes show up. One of them is a friend of mine, and I don’t recognize the other one.

    For some weird reason, the stranger starts talking to me.

    He’s really enthralled to be talking to me, and we get into a conversation pretty hard.

    Then it hits me, I do know this guy. Not personally… he’s fucking famous.

    For privacy issues, I can say what he’s famous for.

    So now I’m in a dilemna, dude is super friendly, and he’s local too, so I recognize the importance of continuing our conversation… but the whole time I keep glancing over at my date, who’s now talking to my other friend.

    Eventually, time burns out and I have to leave. As I announce this, my date instantly declares she’ll walk back up to the cars with me.

    We laugh about the whole thing, and I tell her that I was really enjoying getting to know her. She says the same.

    So we exchanged numbers and personal info, and she says she’ll be back in town in a few weeks and that we should hang out.

    I’m really looking forward to it.

  5. No story, just a plea. Ladies and gentlemen, ghosting is part of the dating culture unfortunately. It’s something we all have to learn to accept. Just please don’t be the one to suggest the next date and then ghost right after. That’s just an unnecessary extra level of assholery.

  6. Girl I was supposed to go to dinner with told me she had to leave town for a work trip for a couple weeks. Saw she updated in the feed section so I checked her distance. Only 3 miles away lol why lie just say you don’t want to hang anymore

  7. I’m 19, used Tinder only a month,now I’ve got 3 dates and the first one wants to meet me again but the third one also.Idk what to do and now I feel awful and guilty of myself.I haven’t tried or dated before and after using tinder,I’ve got so many dates.But I really like the third one and we decided to meet tomorrow but he didn’t text me too often,still nice and attractive when we meet in person.The second one is actually not my type but he always cares about me and texts me and also invited me to some parties as his plus one.I really can’t decide it now.

  8. I finally downloaded it and now feel like shit. I know that if I was in shape I would be doing exponentially better but holy fuck I didn’t know I was that fucking ugly. Sorry for ranting, just absolutely stunned at my lack of success.

  9. Alright so I’m stuck in a tough place here… matched with a girl on tinder and we’ve been on 4 dates now. We both stated we were not interested in anything serious. While that’s true and I am just recently single I’m starting to discover new things about her and have come to realize that I’ve never had so much in common with someone before. The sex is also quite possibly the best sex I’ve ever had.

    It just seems too easy and effortless. I’m not sure if I can continue to keep it casual and keep seeing her cause I do think eventually I’m going to catch crazy feelings for this girl. I don’t even think it’s smart of me to try and pivot this towards actual dating and the potential of a relationship down the road. The second I talk about it I feel like she’s going to shut it down real quick and that’s it. I guess what I’m saying is, how many of you have stated that “you’re not looking for anything serious” but then ended up meeting someone that changed your mind?

  10. Not a story, but what are peoples thoughts on shirtless mirror selfies?

    I’ve searched the sub and can’t find a general consensus. I used one of me at my local boxing gym a few nights ago, and the ‘people who matched with you’ thing you only get to see with gold started going up quicker, and I got a few more matches than usual.

    I don’t have an incredible body, I’m kinda lean but also quite skinny. I don’t want to come off like a dick, but I also want more matches haha. Anyone got any opinions on this?

  11. I tried opening with what I thought was a bit of light hearted sarcasm, but after the girl didn’t reply I showed the message to my pals. They said it came off more like I was just being a dick which obviously wasn’t my intention – should I just leave it there and move on, or should I message again in a couple of days saying it was in poor taste and try and salvage something? I’d usually just move on, but I found this girl particularly attractive and we had a lot in common (live close, exact same music taste on spotify, both enjoy live music ect).

  12. You who go for ONS. How do you go proceed onTinder? Thinking that the usual dating is based on like chatting for a while, then maybe a couple of dates and you see where i takes you. Right now I am in a period where I am looking for mor loose connections. Is it easier to ask the question directly if the person wants to meet on a glass for example? Have not tested this yet, maybe im too orderly?

  13. Sorry, I’m kinda new to the Tinder scene. I have heard about it and stuff, just never got into it much till now. Looking to hopefully hookup or ONS. Any clues or ideas to help out?

  14. Can anyone that has been the ghoster give reasoning (valid or invalid) as to why you talk to a guy/gorl for over a week, maybe even a month and just disappear?

    Edit: thank you so much for all the replies!

  15. So I matched with this girl on tinder, and we talked for a bit and I asked her out pretty quickly. She says it’s her first time on tinder and she would like to get to know each other better for a bit first.

    She’s a cool person so I’m down with that, and we texted for the next few weeks about random stuff but I didn’t ask her out. Eventually I felt like we were getting to be just pen pals so I asked her out again, and she disappears without a word. Standard tinder ghosting, although we did text for weeks so I was kinda surprised.

    A month goes by with no contact and then she randomly hits me up again saying she isn’t ready for dating but that she does want to be friends. I’m always down to make friends and she’s really cool but she’s also into all the same stuff as me and I definitely think she’s attractive.

    If we keep talking and end up hanging out as friends, would I be in the wrong to try to progress things back into relationship territory? I feel like she probably wants that but just isn’t sure. I mean, who thinks about getting asked out for so long and then tries to rekindle, I feel like there’s something there

  16. TL;DR deleting my dating apps and doing some self care.
    Decided to take a break from all of my apps. I’ve been looking for some type of relationship and I’m just getting put into a bad mental state with all the ghosting and lackadaisical replies. The few hookups I’ve had left me feeling like I’ve been used. So far this has been my experience on all my apps:

    Hinge: everyone sings high praises about the quality of matches on this app, but… No one is on it in my area. I had a promising date set up and she bailed the night before, set up a video call instead. Got ghosted promptly afterwards. Very few women to swipe on, fewer that would match, even fewer that would reply…

    Bumble: more girls to swipe on, more matches, somehow worse quality. Literally none of my matches advanced past a first message, most timing out after 24 hours of no first move, 98% of my received messages were « hey », the other two being « hey, how are you » or some variation.

    Tinder: simply the king of the hill for population. I’d get an okay amount of matches and replies, but the moment I’d suggest a date/meeting in public or sent a flirty message, conversation goes cold or I’m outright ghosted. I’m just tired of being a pen pal and trying to sustain a flatlining conversation over 4 messages a day.

    I can only assume that I’m not presenting myself well or my conversation skills are awful, but it’s definitely time for me to step away from the dating apps for a couple months. Send a risky message for me!

  17. i am the queen of last-minute, whirlwind, fever dream romances 🙁 i have a flight out of here tomorrow and met a guy on a whim friday out of boredom and loneliness. we ended up spending the last basically 72 hours together. he’s an hour away and drove me all the way to my place two nights in a row so i could take my bc lmaoooo. i never brought it with me bc i wasn’t expecting to stay again, of course. the second time i was supposed to be dropped off for good but we were both too bummed to do that. like, we literally couldn’t let each other go. so here i am cleaning my room and packing five seconds before i leave. i don’t regret it though. so we spent three nights together…i miss him so much. i’m sad. obvi i still don’t know him very well but it was cool to have obsession and affection, no matter how temporary, reciprocated. i hope i see him again eventually. i just love being cuddly and kissing and being all mushy and shit…i want a boyfriend so bad. i have so much love to give, lol. i honestly think if i weren’t moving he would have been mine. just the whole time we were dreading me leaving. he just texted me saying he’s bummed and his bed smells like me and he’s so used to turning around and kissing me. i die!!! it just fit. i really like him. ugh

  18. There’s this girl I’m seeing from Tinder who’s pretty cute but I’m not too into her personality. I just feel like the only way I could have consistent sex for a decent period is to act like I want a relationship with her, and I’m not interested in doing that. I’m gonna break things off with her this week.

    I think one of the benefits of being an attractive straight male is the ability to have options. I don’t just mean this in the sense that more women are interested, but also in the sense of what women want relationship wise.

    As someone who’s pretty average and does okay on the app Hinge, I feel pigeon-holed into acting like I want a relationship when I really want a fwb-type relationship atm. It sucks not being attractive enough for casual relationships because it enforces a feeling not being good enough physically. I feel like I’ve done all I can and still get very few matches on Tinder.

    I hope this doesn’t sound too incel-like but I really feel like I’m near the top of my game financially and physically it doesn’t matter bc of the factors I cannot control.

  19. A month or so ago I matched with a really cool (and cute) girl that basically told me we’d have to wait until we meet since she doesn’t live here just yet(not literally, more so hinted). So I Took someone’s advice to just keep it light and friendly and got her snap. Well out of the blue, she stopped snapping me back. Should I shoot my shot and just ask to hang out or take the hint? I never actually mentioned that to her so it’s not like I’ve been turned down just yet because she doesn’t live here and I figured I’d wait.

  20. So last week I was [singing Hinge’s praises](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/cgj0bq/story_time_week_of_july_22_2019/eujzv1k/?context=3). I may have been a wee bit hasty, I had 4 dates this week set up. Then one cancelled entirely and the other asked to reschedule and hasn’t gotten back to me. So I get a ton more matches with Hinge than Tinder or Bumble but the people may be just as flaky. I’ve managed to book two more (it really is that easy with Hinge) but we’ll see if they cancel too. In short, I need to use Hinge for a few more weeks before I can truly tell you all if it’s worth it or not.

    I went on a successful date this weekend. During the date we went for drinks and she dropped hints she wanted a second date, suggesting date activities she wants to do with me in the future. We took a detour and got a little frisky (not sex), which she initiated on the way to her house, then we said our goodbyes. She gave me her number and told me to text her, so when I got home I texted her with a private joke we had, she replied, then I told her I had a great time and it would be nice to see her again. No reply. She told me during the date when she’s done/if she’s not interested in seeing people again she unmatches them. She hasn’t unmatched me. I’ll give it a few days then send a last message suggesting a date #2 with a concrete time and place. If she doesn’t reply to that I’ll unmatch her and move on. I hope it doesn’t come to that because it was an amazing first date but it’s for my own good.

  21. One Tinder FWB acts as de-facto GF. Sex, dinner, theater, sleepovers… another T FWB drunk-sexts me. Had first date with a recent match. Fun. Dinner, drinks, pool, darts. Kiss. Will see each other again. Another match flaked on a lunch date. We already exchanged #s so I can’t just unmatch her. I’ll refrain from initiating anything with her. Too bad. We had fun conversations. 3rd week of hiding my card. Too many matches, so I’m playing catch up. I have a date with a new match later this week. And I’ll see my main FWB. Hope to set up a meet with my drunk-sexter. Logisticaly difficult though.

  22. I deleted all of my dating app accounts the other day, but now I’m sorta regretting it. I really don’t know what I want.

    I’m just looking for casual stuff, and everything was mostly fine until my last hookup. We had sex once, and then a while later I tried to initiate things again. He seemed into it but eventually I asked if he was okay and he said he was tired, so we stopped. Then the next morning essentially the same thing happened, except he moved my hand away from him before I asked if he was okay. I asked if he was tired again and he said yeah, but he initiated making out instead. I escorted him out shortly after that as politely as I could because I felt really weird about the whole thing.

    To clarify, I am not upset that we didn’t have sex again, that’s absolutely no problem. I just felt weird that I was clearly initiating for a while both times while he apparently didn’t want it but didn’t make that clear to me. I felt really sick to my stomach about it the last couple days.

    Last night we were talking on Snapchat and I finally asked him about it. Right away he was like “nooooo you’re fine” and that apparently he’s had bad experiences cumming twice so he didn’t want that to happen. He said point blank that I shouldn’t feel bad but I still feel weird about it.

    Anyway, I deleted all my profiles while I was feeling shitty about it. Now I don’t feel as bad, but still kinda weird. But if it really isn’t my fault like he said I shouldn’t be so hung up on this, right?

  23. If there are any women reading this thread, can I just ask what the fuck is up with women who put pics of their armpit hair in their profile? I’ve seen this multiple times. They think they are proving something to people. But looking at armpit hair is gross whether it is a man or a woman. Yeah I know women grow armpit hair and that beauty standards aren’t fair, doesn’t mean you need to show it off. Imagine if guys just posted close up macro shots of their chest hair.

  24. Some girl had her sc in her bio so said to message her on there instead

    Added her, got chatting, all was sound

    Sent a picture of myself

    Blocked

    Hahahaha sucker missing out

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