Dating : Men: what are your biggest dating frustrations?
Hi guys,
Specifically looking to share experiences with other men on here. I’m a male, 32.
What are your biggest frustrations in your dating lives?
For me I really had no idea where and how to meet the type of people I wanted.
Thanks,
Sam
For me it’s balancing expectations.
I will wholeheartedly admit that I am god awful at managing my emotions when I like someone.
I find it frustrating that I can’t really just come out and say « hey, I like you! Like, enough to want to possibly date you! » I guess it freaks people out. Which is odd to me.
In those situations it’s difficult for me to read the other person because of how I’m feeling.
29M. In my perspective, the standards just seem to keep going up with no explanation. When I started using dating apps 5 years ago, I got tons of matches, real conversations, and even the occasional date. A couple of years ago, the date numbers started to seriously dwindle. I’ve now gone 18 months since my last date, even after moving to a much more populated area.
More than anything, there doesn’t seem be any constructive way to meet single women in a safe, friendly environment. Online is useless, group meetups tend to be composed of 80+% single guys, and nowadays I only seem to see couples at restaurants/bars/public places.
Honestly, I’m totally out of ideas. It sucks because, at a minimum, I know from experience that I can provide a perfectly cordial date, even if the person isn’t feeling it in the end. I’ve got a stable career, a good living space, tons of hobbies, sound mental health, and so on. On paper, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to at least participate in the dating world, but it feels like I’m totally shut out.
My main frustration is that it’s difficult for me to distinguish between a woman being friendly/extraverted and a woman showing romantic/sexual interest. Most of the girlfriends I’ve had were quite overt in their interest.
Over the years I’ve been on the receiving end of many variations on « I don’t think of you in that way », so I’ve gotten discouraged and become apprehensive. But that means I’m (maybe) missing out on opportunities with women who aren’t as direct with their interest.
I think I have the same issue, online dating doesn’t and hasn’t worked for me in the past year even with female friends helping me tailor my profile etc.
I also really struggle with the initial statement when I do finally meet someone this is where I fuck it up.
I only want casual, no-strings attached dating right now. And I’m up front with that. I still get women who want exclusivity & commitment. Makes me feel like I’m cheating all the time. It’s starting to bum me out.
Cant have dating frustrations if you arent dating.
Not getting dates.
It’s weird, I get very few matches and no dates whatsoever on dating apps, in real life I met the hottest girl in the office and she said she was really into me and thought I was really attractive. Go figure. And I do put an effort on dating apps. I gave up on them long time ago.
(1) The fact that women lie about not wanting kids. From 20-30 nearly every girl I met my age said she didn’t want kids.
Now, at 42, I can’t find a woman close to my age who doesn’t have 2-5 children. As a man who doesn’t have kids, I don’t want to have to date single moms.
(2) It’s 2019 yet most women still expect men to approach and initiate. The best most of them do is throw you “hints” that sometimes are no different than if they were just being friendly.
(3) it’s 2019 yet most women still want a guy who makes as much or more than they do. So much for empowered women being able to choose men for their qualities other than the ability to make money.
Not meeting any women. Seriously I don’t even get the option of trying to have a chat with someone I find interesting. I have no idea where women are or at least single women my age that I have anything with common with.
Maybe I’m trying to date at a shitty age or dating in my area sucks particularly bad but I really don’t want to start dating in my 30s
Also yeah dating apps are dogshit
The lack of nerds. Most profiles I read are blank or are “travelers, looking for an outdoors adventure buddy.”
I want to find women that like video games, reading, intellectual conversations but they seem in short supply.
Women.
Getting a woman to reply to a message and not blow me off afterward
Mine is that I am at the same time lazy about finding someone, and picky.
Have kids? Out. Want kids? Out. Not looking for anything serious? Out. « Friends first »? Out. Within a year of my age? Out (it’s been my experience that women close to my age are incredibly boring and it is a struggle to get them to do aaannnyyyttthhhing that involves getting off of the couch/bed). Don’t like birds? Out. Allergic to <insert animal here>? Out. Don’t like reptiles? Out. Don’t know what you want in life? Out. Don’t know what you want to do with life? Out. Conservative? Out. Christian? Probably gonna be an out. Not kinky? Out.
And those are just the surface reasons!
28M. I think my biggest frustration is that almost no women I’ve dated have taken me at my word or for what I say.
For the women it could be due to past relationship failure, what their friends tell them, what media tells them, that men are just all liars, cheats, or trying to get into your pants and it tilts the table.
I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I don’t say something and turn around and say another, I don’t tell an opinion and then secretly talk shit in my head, but they EXPECT me to be. It’s doubly sucks because there’s no real solution to it because if I try to counter it and reassure them it’s dismissed under the same mindset.
I believe this is a societal issue in general, but being a man seeking women obviously I see it more in women personally.
The entire process puts the onus on the guy to do 90% of the work and it so rarely results in anything positive that it’s just not worth the effort.
People that ghost
I’m 5’4″. Biggest problem is that. I can talk a women up the wall gave her feeling good about get self and giving great but as soon as she learns im 5’4″ there is no interest. It feels bad. But I understand wanted a guy if a certain height
Honestly for me it’s my weight.
I make good money, I am very social and funny and cook. But my weight causes me to have such self doubt and i know I am not attractive because of my weight to most/all. Also it kills my confidence which I never lacked in confidence being a big guy till my last relationship that has emotionally destroyed me.
That’s easy. Single mothers. I have stories. Let me know if you want to hear a few, it’s your thread.
that we’re supposed to do everything.. And we get no thanks, no credit, no acknowledgement most of the time..
29M. The woman not wanting to be mature or to grow up. I’m all for having fun. Kayaking, hiking, biking or doing artsy stuff and trying new things. I’m all for that, but at the same time management of one’s own funds is important. Recently ran into a red-flag where a woman who was only a couple years younger than me essentially wanted a sugar-daddy more than a real relationship. (By this I mean they broke up with their ex because their ex was tired of paying for all of her bills because she regularly blew her money at parties.)
Another frustration is that a number in my dating area/age group don’t like the idea of dating a single father. Because of having a kid I’ve had to mature, and I want someone at my side who is able to be mature when I need them to be.
Just how much rejection is involved in dating. I understand it’s part of it, but after awhile I don’t feel like participating anymore which is a horrible way to think.
If I would’ve known now what I knew back then, I would’ve settled down prior to the internet/smart phone/online dating age.
Entitlement. Women feel like they are entitled to a relationship.
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Women expect me (and men in general) to want a relationship because we are sleeping together, but don’t do anything to make me want to be in a relationship.
After 100 days its always just, « soooo….am I your girlfriend? are we official? wheres this going » etc. I put in a lot of work, effort, time, consideration and money to get a woman interested in me. Even for 2 or 3 simple dates, and we never sleep together, I have to put in a lot of work to get to that point. But women often don’t reciprocate that effort. They always just expect me to want to be with them based on the fact that they want to be with me….
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Its Entitlement.