5 tips on how to gently parting
5 tips for leaving on good terms
1. Be as cruel as possible
When it comes to a separation wanted by one (e) and endured by the other, it is never sweet when you go through it. You have to be as cruel as possible, sparing details and reproaches. It would be better talk about what we feel, our emotions, rather than trying to make the failure of the relationship weigh on the other.
💔 Avoid explosive arguments that could shatter your wish to separate on good terms.
2. Respect each other
When feelings fly, it’s easy to forget that you loved one, but it’s important to do not deny what we shared together. It’s important to listen to each other’s emotions. Using non-violent communication turns conflicts into simple dialogues.
3. Explain the reasons
Pack your suitcase without saying anything? We forget. Likewise for ghosting, it is a very brutal and cruel separation. It’s important to take it upon yourself to tell the truth to others and explain the reasons for their decision.
It can be very hard sometimes, but leaving the other in the misunderstanding can cause a huge emotional shock that will prevent him from moving forward. Of course, we don’t want to stay with this person, but we have to stay human and empathetic.
4. Be clear
It is necessary not to entertain the hope of a possible reversal on our part. Even if we are not sure of our decision, leaving the other in the dark is torture. Indeed, in leaving doubt, one prevents the other from entering the mourning stages of the relationship and from turning the page. Establishing the right distance is important, without disappearing overnight. You have to remain available for the other until the separation takes place.
➜ For example: We can offer remain available by phone, the time for him to be able to ask his questions. Some people even manage to be friends with their ex, maybe we will too? You can no longer love someone in a loving way, but appreciate them as a friend.
5. If you are a parent, act in the best interests of the children
Separation is also a very difficult time for children. It is important to bring the news together and to reassure them. We forget the intimate reasons for separation, that only concerns us and our spouse! On the other hand, it is necessary clarify the situation by explaining the upcoming changes, by preparing alternate custody, etc. Despite the suffering of separation, we also remain a mother, so we must also be available for our children.
➜ For once, it is essential to separate smoothly and stay on good term with your ex. He or she also remains a parent, so we must be able to be, as much as possible, in agreement on education and to make decisions together.
When should you break up?
After the holidays, after Christmas, after Valentine’s Day, after his birthday, after his big file at work … Unfortunately, there is no real right time to go our separate ways. You have to listen to yourself and be attentive to your emotions, otherwise you will always postpone the fateful moment. Waiting for the right moment is risk locking yourself into a dysfunctional relationship. The right time to break up is when we feel it, when it is no longer possible for us to continue anyway.
Our advice in the form of a video, to share it more easily if you know someone who wants to separate smoothly:
The editorial staff’s opinion: get helpSeparating is never easy. We feel guilty, we worry about each other and for ourselves. It is therefore necessary at all costs to avoid a devastating rupture, for oneself as for the other. Whether before the separation or after, it is possible to approach a psychologist to understand the reasons for the breakup. The professional will help us to mourn and he will accompany us to rebuild us after the breakup. Sometimes leaving someone generates as much pain as one experiences separation, so help is needed. Contact a psychologist |
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